There are many different types of music in the world today. why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

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There are many different types of music in the world today. why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Over the history, music has been an indispensable component of human's life. All nations are distinct, their cultures and traditions differ, and these variations manifest via music form. These old forms of music are classified as traditional, and are conjuncted to a particular region with inseparable gyves. Though, on the other hand the international music, has its prevalence amid those, brought up in a different culture, those who tend to listen to traditional music. There has been ac concern recently, what is more important, but it does not really matter, the essential point is that both constitute the conception of music.

Music, the notion which has accompanied the humanity through ages, and as old as the world itself. Some kind of entertainment that helps to cheer up in moments of grave and sadness, a tool that actuate a human to do things that seem impossible to accomplish. It is wonderful feeling when you just come back home from work and turn up a player to listen to music, you get relaxed and forget about daily issues and travel into an unknown world, world full of joy.

In practice, the concept of music is so colossal that it is divided into several categories to distinguish music compositions with different rhymes, speed paces and sound types. Globalisation and development of the Internet allows people enjoy music from abroad, feel the culture a music belong to. Apart from this, exchange of cultures through listening to music leads to rapprochement of the humanity as a whole.

Contrary to this point, listening to traditional music helps to preserve cognizance and legacy of a nation. Via that, taking into account what nation a human does belong to, he starts forming his ideology, that corresponds to his own culture.

All things considered, it is true to say that no music genre or type can ever be superior to others. The reality is that both traditional and international music are simply distinct manifestations of the same spirit, they are equally important. It is just a matter of taste or interest.

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the international music, has its prevalence amid those, brought up in a different culture, those who tend to listen to traditional music.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?

a tool that actuate a human
a tool that actuates a human

It is wonderful feeling
It is a wonderful feeling

flaws:
Need connections between two sentences. for example:

'...both traditional and international music are simply distinct manifestations of the same spirit, they are equally important.'

should be:
'...both traditional and international music are simply distinct manifestations of the same spirit, and they are equally important.'

Attribute Value Ideal
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Category: Good Excellent
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No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
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No. of Words: 342 350
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Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.3 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.842 4.6
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No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 79 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 56 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.375 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.096 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.375 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.339 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.586 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.09 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5