Children who grow up in families which are short of money are better prepared with the problems of adult life than children who are brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In contemporary epoch, it is argued by some people that wheater children, who have been born in deprived kin,can be excellent prepared with their problem of juvenil life vis à vis children, who are born in silver spoon, belonged up by wealthy parents. I agree as much as disagree with given statement, and I would discuss in the forthcoming paragraphs with conclusion at last.

To embark, the first and the formost advantage is that children, who is panniless family, are conscious regarding not only money but also career. For instance, nowadays,in compativiti era, although, education has been playing most significant role for mankind, children are not studing because one is belonging from needy family. He or she has importance concerning money.thus children are living conscious their a study. He or she has burdon about their life. Hence, one has abundous cognizance touching problem which is being faced by children. Whereas, children, who is from wealthy, can not know about their problem ,for all things have been yeilded in order to study by their kin. Therefore, one can not face in their life so it is very destinct for children.

However, children, who is from wealthy family, can learn from educated tutor because he or she has vast money so they one can take admission in excellent school. To illustrate, admission had been taken in school by kalpna chavada whose family has abundous money. Hence she had studied in top 1 school in entire the globe which is located in USA. Apart from that, owning to money, he or she adicted towards not only drug but also club. Thus it is hazardous for their tremandous life.

To sum up, I personally aver that children should not depend on the money. Instead, student ought to study firstly. Hence, student can live spectacular life either born with poor family or reach family.

Votes
Average: 7.8 (1 vote)
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IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS Academic
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 109, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , can
...dren, who have been born in deprived kin,can be excellent prepared with their proble...
^^^^
Line 3, column 169, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , in
... but also career. For instance, nowadays,in compativiti era, although, education ha...
^^^
Line 3, column 299, Rule ID: NON_ACTION_CONTINUOUS[3]
Message: The verb belong is usually not used with a continuous form, use the simple form instead. Suggestion: 'belongs'
Suggestion: belongs
...d, children are not studing because one is belonging from needy family. He or she has import...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 299, Rule ID: PROGRESSIVE_VERBS[1]
Message: This verb is normally not used in the progressive form. Try a simple form instead.
...d, children are not studing because one is belonging from needy family. He or she has import...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 408, Rule ID: THEIR_IS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'there'?
Suggestion: there
...oney.thus children are living conscious their a study. He or she has burdon about the...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 620, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ealthy, can not know about their problem ,for all things have been yeilded in or...
^^
Line 3, column 654, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...roblem ,for all things have been yeilded in order to study by their kin. Therefor...
^^^
Line 5, column 264, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...havada whose family has abundous money. Hence she had studied in top 1 school in enti...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 436, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...ed towards not only drug but also club. Thus it is hazardous for their tremandous li...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, hence, however, if, regarding, so, therefore, thus, whereas, apart from, for instance, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 13.1623246493 152% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 7.85571142285 115% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 10.4138276553 86% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 7.30460921844 164% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 24.0651302605 112% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 41.998997996 98% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.3376753507 60% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1532.0 1615.20841683 95% => OK
No of words: 309.0 315.596192385 98% => OK
Chars per words: 4.95792880259 5.12529762239 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.1926597562 4.20363070211 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.54218603932 2.80592935109 91% => OK
Unique words: 177.0 176.041082164 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.572815533981 0.561755894193 102% => OK
syllable_count: 467.1 506.74238477 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 5.43587174349 110% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.10420841683 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.76152304609 126% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 16.0721442886 106% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.2975951904 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.9790424537 49.4020404114 109% => OK
Chars per sentence: 90.1176470588 106.682146367 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.1764705882 20.7667163134 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.23529411765 7.06120827912 102% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.01903807615 179% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.67935871743 58% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.9879759519 125% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 3.4128256513 205% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.28874421679 0.244688304435 118% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0893944325417 0.084324248473 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0673009068268 0.0667982634062 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.186558736392 0.151304729494 123% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0702104192056 0.056905535591 123% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.0 13.0946893788 84% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 50.2224549098 123% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 11.3001002004 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.19 12.4159519038 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.62 8.58950901804 100% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 78.4519038076 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 9.78957915832 143% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.1190380762 91% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.