If you could change one important thing about your community what would you change Use reasons to support your answer

Essay topics:

If you could change one important thing about your community , what would you change ? Use reasons to support your answer.

There is no doubt to say that my hometown is a splendid place to live in . In case I get a chance to change something about the society , I would throw light on the fact that there is no sense of unity among the society members . Here, I would like to mention some reasons for this worrying concern .

Multifarious reasons can be mentioned behind this fact. First and foremost , people are busy in the ratrace of achieving more and more in every field and therefore they do not have a quality time to spend with the people nearby. As a result, they do not involve themselves in various affairs taking place around them . Moreover, weak connections between people of the society are responsible for lack of unity in diversity. Thus, people are not familiar with each other.

Further emphasizing on my point of view, being selfish due to competitiveness, people do not support others by keepinga friendly eye . For instance , improving the standard of schools for providing quality education to every child of a community is not important for them. What is more, sometimes discrimination of casete bec act as an obstacle between the people due to which they remain away from each other.

Last but not the least, people often change their jobs frequently and shift to other places and therefore they do not put down roots in the society . Thus, they may not interfare in social ,emotional and financial matters of the society.

To recapitulate , community members should be unite as it will be lucrative to create the path for the progress of the community.

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for lack of unity in diversity.
for the lack of unity in diversity.

Sentence: First and foremost , people are busy in the ratrace of achieving more and more in every field and therefore they do not have a quality time to spend with the people nearby.
Error: ratrace Suggestion: retrace

Sentence: Further emphasizing on my point of view, being selfish due to competitiveness, people do not support others by keepinga friendly eye .
Error: keepinga Suggestion: keeping

Sentence: Thus, they may not interfare in social ,emotional and financial matters of the society.
Error: interfare Suggestion: No alternate word

flaws:
No. of Different Words: 155 200

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 267 350
No. of Characters: 1246 1500
No. of Different Words: 155 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.042 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.667 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.567 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 85 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 63 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 39 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 27 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.071 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.324 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.643 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.319 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.533 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.084 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5