More and more people are suffering from health problems caused by a modern lifestyle which cannot be treated with modern medicines Some people think that a return to traditional medicine should be encouraged To what extend do you agree

Human population have reached a top-notch technological advancement and cherished short moments of world peace and cultural prosperity for the past few decades. As cities grew and population grew in many countries, recent society is facing another social problems that has been continued from the past or that has been newly emerged. I believe that many social issues originates from a growing individual greed and selfishness of individuals. I firmly agree that people must return to the traditional values of mankind of respecting for the family and the local community in order to purify the problems we are standing on. The reasons for my opinion is stated on the following paragraphs.

First and foremost, greed and selfishness is detrimental for our mental health. In this modern society, values for family and friendships are overwhelmed by individual success, wealth, and power. Forgetting the traditional values made people vulnerable to loneliness and depression. Even when inside a crowd people seldom connect with others and turn out to feel lonely. I have a perfect example to illustrate my ideas. For the past few decades, suicide attacks of city-dwelling youngsters have skyrocketed by 10% compared to the past. Many psychologists analyze the cause of these phenomena the "city blue". Since more people are dedicating their lives to their career, living alone in an apartment, many people are losing their reason for existence. Moreover, low marriage rate and birth rates are also a contributing factor to the issue. Greed and selfishness is harmful for our mental health, and traditional lifestyle that revolves around our family and home should be re-emphasized.

In addition, greed and selfishness deteriorates the political enmities of society. The more people vote for greediness, the more imprudent political acts are taken. To illustrate, recently doctors are in a strike protesting about the government's new plan on expanding medical school admission by 4000 students for the following decades, allowing "Tele-medicine", and assuring insurance on oriental medicine. Majority of the doctors regard this plan as a populism act of government, and a dictatorial behavior since the department of health and service did not notice the doctors about the new plan before the official announcement. Moreover, many doctors are struggling to fight against COVID-19 resurgence in a poor working condition without any financial rewards. The vested interest of government is aggravating the society and will cause huge financial burden among the future population. If the government had any respect to the doctors for appreciating their service in such a hard situation, they would never propose the legislation of the new plan.

To sum up, I personally believe that human population should return to their older and more traditional values of respect for the family and local community in order to make a better world. Selfish acts are detrimental for our mental health, politics, and and the only remedy would be going back to our traditional lifestyles and respecting others.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
Essays by the user:

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 253, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: and
...mental for our mental health, politics, and and the only remedy would be going back to ...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, moreover, so, well, in addition, kind of, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 13.1623246493 137% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 7.85571142285 76% => OK
Conjunction : 26.0 10.4138276553 250% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 7.0 7.30460921844 96% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 24.0651302605 112% => OK
Preposition: 63.0 41.998997996 150% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 8.3376753507 216% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2633.0 1615.20841683 163% => OK
No of words: 484.0 315.596192385 153% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.44008264463 5.12529762239 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.69041575982 4.20363070211 112% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.08338886613 2.80592935109 110% => OK
Unique words: 259.0 176.041082164 147% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.535123966942 0.561755894193 95% => OK
syllable_count: 830.7 506.74238477 164% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 5.43587174349 92% => OK
Article: 4.0 2.52805611222 158% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.10420841683 143% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 0.809619238477 618% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.76152304609 105% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 16.0721442886 149% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.2975951904 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.6160485913 49.4020404114 102% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.708333333 106.682146367 103% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.1666666667 20.7667163134 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.04166666667 7.06120827912 43% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.67935871743 92% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 13.0 3.9879759519 326% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 3.4128256513 88% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.175837137763 0.244688304435 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0448747800457 0.084324248473 53% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0476638023543 0.0667982634062 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.107049478926 0.151304729494 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0363866487938 0.056905535591 64% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.3 13.0946893788 109% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.72 50.2224549098 85% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 11.3001002004 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.27 12.4159519038 115% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.33 8.58950901804 109% => OK
difficult_words: 144.0 78.4519038076 184% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 9.78957915832 153% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.1190380762 99% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 10.7795591182 139% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.