In most developed countries shopping is not only about buying the goods you need, it is also perceived as entertainment. Is it a positive or negative development? Give your own opinion and examples based on your experience.
This is a universally acknowledged fact that in this 21st century shopping has become an entertainment instead of a need in most of the developed nations. Some people hold the opinion that this is a positive trend; whereas, others have the conflicting views. Here, in the below essay, I will try to enunciate both these facts with my own perception.
Some people think that shopping is one of the best hobbies to spend their leisure time because of the multifarious reasons. Firstly, they think that while doing the window shopping, probably, one can win a special prize as nowadays, most of the shopping malls keep some kind of a lucky draw option mainly to lure the customers. Secondly, as per them even though consumers are not buying all the products available in the market, still they are familiar with latest products, if they are frequent visitors in the shopping malls on the weekends .Undeniably, people who are doing the shopping regularly know about the market trends and various discount offers that are going on. Therefore, these frequent buyers can take up more benefits in terms of the overall cost; whereas, people who are not regular buyer probably lands up spending more amount to purchase the same item. By the contrast, others have conflicting views.
As per them, doing shopping on the frequent basis has more negative effects.First and foremost, while doing the shopping through plastic money like a credit card and a debit card one can lands up spending more than their budgets, thus in turn leads to the financial debts. Moreover, as people are spending most of their leisure time in doing shopping; hence, they do not have enough time to spend with friends and families, whereas in the olden days as this trend was not so popular, everyone used to spend their leisure time either doing some physical exercise or with their family that in turn helps in more bonding and intimacy between the families.
To recapitulate, by looking at the above facts,undeniably hobby like shopping has its own positive as well as detrimental effects.
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Comments
Dear Sir, Please confirm how
Dear Sir,
Please confirm how to make this essay worth 7.0 band as their is only one mistake and band awarded is 6.5. Waiting for your valuable feedback
Regards
Some flaws go here: Avg.
Some flaws go here:
Avg. Sentence Length: 31.727 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 17.597 7.5
but the main issue of this essay is that the essay is developed like a technical report. Need to focus on one side and give your clear opinions. It is not good only to say '...has its own positive as well as detrimental effects.'
better to have 5 paragraphs to organize the content better, separate the side you support to two paragraphs:
paragraph 1: introduction. Your ideas/opinions here (should be a clear opinion. support/against or agree/disagree).
paragraph 2: Admittedly, there are some advantages of side A. First, ... Second, ...
paragraph 3: However, still I support side B. reason 1 + why reason 1 + example for reason 1 + a small conclusion for reason 1.
paragraph 4: reason 2 + why reason 2 + example for reason 2+ a small conclusion for reason 2.
paragraph 5: conclusion.
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one can lands up spending more
one can land up spending more
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 349 350
No. of Characters: 1669 1500
No. of Different Words: 186 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.322 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.782 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.359 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 111 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 87 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 59 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 19 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 31.727 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 17.597 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.636 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.378 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.606 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.108 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5