One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing.Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Submitted by gabitkar on Wed, 01/11/2017 - 19:22

In modern days, the population of the world live longer and level of life has increased. That is why governments have a dilemma "should they improved their medical system or not?". I think, if governments develop medicine it will bring many benefit than harm.
First of all, health care improvement will lead to better people well-being. It is mean that citizens will have fewer diseases and illnesses. Also, it will fix problem with work, because people will take less time for treatment and more for job. In a result that improvement will influence on work productivity, For example, in Japan, car industry increased income on 10 per cent only because they improved the hospitals where their employers go to get treatment.
However, there is one problem from economical standpoint. Companies and governments should invest large amount of money to develop health care system. Nevertheless, it is not a big problem because investment will returned in the future. For example, monetarily part will come back with taxes from medical insurance or by incomes from treatments.
Another positive point is benefits for medical science. Doctors and scientists will have possibility make researches in problem areas like cancer. That development can help invent drugs against AIDS or leukemia, for example.
In conclusion, as it is shown, changes for the better in a medical system sooner or later will give a lot of benefits. I sure that governments should decide to fund medicine for the healthiest future.

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Average: 5.6 (1 vote)
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IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS Academic
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 247, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun benefit seems to be countable; consider using: 'many benefits'.
Suggestion: many benefits
...ernments develop medicine it will bring many benefit than harm. First of all, health care i...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 213, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'return'
Suggestion: return
...t a big problem because investment will returned in the future. For example, monetarily ...
^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, nevertheless, so, well, for example, i think, in conclusion, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 13.1623246493 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 7.85571142285 178% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 10.4138276553 86% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 7.30460921844 82% => OK
Pronoun: 16.0 24.0651302605 66% => OK
Preposition: 26.0 41.998997996 62% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.3376753507 120% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1271.0 1615.20841683 79% => OK
No of words: 243.0 315.596192385 77% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.2304526749 5.12529762239 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.94822203886 4.20363070211 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8024963288 2.80592935109 100% => OK
Unique words: 153.0 176.041082164 87% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.62962962963 0.561755894193 112% => OK
syllable_count: 390.6 506.74238477 77% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 5.43587174349 129% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.384769539078 0% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.10420841683 143% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.76152304609 84% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 16.0721442886 100% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 20.2975951904 74% => OK
Sentence length SD: 36.2144221961 49.4020404114 73% => OK
Chars per sentence: 79.4375 106.682146367 74% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.1875 20.7667163134 73% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.1875 7.06120827912 88% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.38176352705 114% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.01903807615 40% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.67935871743 115% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.9879759519 125% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 3.4128256513 29% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.131380184489 0.244688304435 54% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0461804739359 0.084324248473 55% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0390233370596 0.0667982634062 58% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0744820755628 0.151304729494 49% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0464293110755 0.056905535591 82% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.8 13.0946893788 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.25 50.2224549098 112% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 11.3001002004 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.46 12.4159519038 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.67 8.58950901804 101% => OK
difficult_words: 66.0 78.4519038076 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 9.78957915832 66% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 10.1190380762 79% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Minimum 250 words wanted.

Rates: 56.1797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.