Some people prefer living in city center while others prefer in remote area What are the advantages of each

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Some people prefer living in city center, while others prefer in remote area. What are the advantages of each?

Living in particular place, whether in remote area or city center, is our decision. While some of us prefer to be a dweller in the big city with glossy buildings and great facilities, others would rather spend their entire life in the small village with good condition of area. Indeed, both of locations boast certain features that appeal to specific category of individuals.

On one hand, dwelling in the city is more suitable for those who look for a variety of facilities, such as: best hospitals, easily accessible to public transport, or educational places. The big city, unlike the village, is the place where people can find varied cultures mixed here. The people may learn much some of traditions and exchange their own to enrich the horizon of cultures. In addition, the city center provides abundant of jobs, therefore, for those skilled people who are keen to compete with the people from many places welcomed.

On the other hand, living in the remote area is particularly suitable for individuals searching for the quietness of the village. It is ideally the residential area surrounded by trees and hills, providing them the best scenery and atmosphere to live in and the peacefulness that the big city never has. The small town is also the right place for tourists or individuals to acquire the knowledge of particular tribe.

To conclude, both a very small town and the large one offer the uniqueness of its own. Although the city center is more preferable location among individuals, the small town is likely becoming the last place to enjoy retirement age.

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2014-11-23 bocahnakal 86 view
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The people may learn much some of traditions
The people may learn much of some traditions

for those skilled people who are keen to compete with the people from many places welcomed.
for those skilled people ...are welcomed.

It is ideally the residential area surrounded by trees and hills,
It is ideal for the residential area surrounded by trees and hills,

Although the city center is more preferable location
Although the city center is a more preferable location

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 265 350
No. of Characters: 1276 1500
No. of Different Words: 148 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.035 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.815 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.542 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 87 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 61 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 48 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 29 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.083 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.677 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.583 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.36 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.596 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.082 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5

Dear Sir,

I have a question regarding with writing essay-I, I ever took IELTS examination and the question was about charts. There was a specific "year" mentioned on the question, but I really forgot to change all the verbs into past-tense forms.
As you are master in this exam, I wanna ask you about that. Was it a problem to my score? I mean, it would decrease/impact to my band (writing)?

Thanks,

Bocahnakal