Some suggest that young people should take a job for a few years between school and university Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this

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Some suggest that young people should take a job for a few years between school and university. Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this.

People have their own right for their life. In special case for adolescent, They tend to spend their time for traveling or working before entering school or university or school, even though others want to be further their education directly. While I believe that this issue has merits and demerits. In my own perspective there are no justification for this phenomenon.

Students have their wonderful time for relaxing before jumping into another study session. Firstly, Traveling and working before going to university will help students widen their horizon and experience different lives style. ...

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and experience different lives style.
and experience different life styles.

Sentence: It is imperative that people should consider when they what to decide about this issue and I fear that some people do not have a passion for studying.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a WH-determiner
Suggestion: Refer to they and what

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 351 350
No. of Characters: 1739 1500
No. of Different Words: 196 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.328 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.954 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.604 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 126 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 91 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 63 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.474 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.089 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.526 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.29 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.471 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.058 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5