Too much attention is paid to and too much money is spent on keeping pets while people throughout the world are starving Discuss the arguments for and again keeping pets To what extent do you agree Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant exa

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Too much attention is paid to and too much money is spent on keeping pets, while people throughout the world are starving
Discuss the arguments for and again keeping pets
To what extent do you agree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowlege or experience

Having pets is another way to relax in humans. Some people always live with other creatures in order to relief some pressure and stress from their work. Consequently, some spend too much money on caring pets. On the other hand, some people argue that it would be a better idea if pet lovers generate some of their money to help starving people. Both views are very interesting issues that need to be considered carefully.

On the one hand, pet lovers believe that having dogs or cats can make their live happier and more meaningful. The trust and love can be easily acquired from living with pets. Dogs or cats can be a good companion and can support people’s mind. Sharing food and accommodation with pets can be alleviated the sense of loneliness and depression in people. As a result, people will be more appreciated to live with trustful companions. As many health reports say that pet owners have longer life expectancy than those who do not have any pet. Consequently, pet owners tend to pay attention on their pets because dogs and cats are also being one of their family members and they should have a good life as similar as humans. All of these support the idea that why pet lovers spend a lot of money on their animals.

On the other hand, many people argue that there are many good ways to spend money on rather than wasting on animals. Supporting on health services and generating on poor people are some examples of investing ways in order to develop human lives. Apparently, many people still suffer from poor hygiene undeveloped or lacked accommodation in developing countries. Many of them die from many disease and malnutrition every year, thus it will be a good idea if they receive some helps from wealth people. As a result, affluent people who over attention on their pets, should also care other human lives and give some help to them.

To sum up, in my opinion, even though investing money on pets is very important for pet lovers, there also are many ways of spending money on helping poor people that require some help from affluent people. Hopefully, with caring poorer lives from wealth pet lovers, it can improve the basic essential needs of the poor.

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to relief some pressure and stress
to release some pressure and stress

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Definitions of 'relief'

noun
a feeling of reassurance and relaxation following release from anxiety or distress.
much to her relief, she saw the door open
synonyms: reassurance, consolation, comfort, solace

assistance, especially in the form of food, clothing, or money, given to those in special need or difficulty.
raising money for famine relief
synonyms: help, aid, assistance, succor, sustenance, TLC, charity, gifts, donations

a person or group of people replacing others who have been on duty.
the relief nurse was late
synonyms: replacement, substitute, deputy, reserve, cover, stand-in, supply, locum, locum tenens, understudy

the state of being clearly visible or obvious due to being accentuated in some way.
the setting sun threw the snow-covered peaks into relief
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Sharing food and accommodation with pets can be alleviated the sense of loneliness
Sharing food and accommodation with pets can alleviate the sense of loneliness //be sensitive to use passive voice. You have this issue often

affluent people who over attention on their pets, should also care
affluent people who pay over attention on their pets, should also care

poor people that require some help from affluent people
poor people who require some helps from affluent people

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 383 350
No. of Characters: 1760 1500
No. of Different Words: 181 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.424 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.595 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.286 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 109 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 62 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 41 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.15 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.213 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.45 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.339 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.501 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.123 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5