As well as making money businesses also have social responsibilities To what extent do you agree or disagree

Essay topics:

As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is believed that enterprises should take more responsibilities for the community instead of just making generating profits the only motive of their business. Personally, I completely agree with this point of view.
On the one hand, it can be clearly seen that businesses should be accountable for maximizing profits due to a variety of reasons. The primary reason is they have an obligation to earn money to pay a sheer volume of expenditures. To illustrate, salary for employees, water and electricity bills, office expenses, and so on. Another reason is that the higher the revenues earned by the companies, the more chances they have to grow their businesses. For instance, the business could expand and open more subsidiaries that bring more job opportunities for the social.
On the other hand, besides making money, being responsible for society is also a vital role for enterprises to play due to the following reasons. Firstly, their production activities could affect injuriously to the environment. To be more detailed, factories release sewage into the river and lake that have a detrimental impact on the water system and environment in general. If the business does not treat the waste in advance, the planet's ecosystem could be imperiled. Secondly, their support for the security and interest of workers such as having suitable policies, excellent compensation, benefits packages, and so on could make the quality of the employment level up instead of just exploiting them.
In conclusion, I entirely agree that companies should have responsibilities for society not just concentrating on earning money.

Votes
Average: 7.9 (2 votes)
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IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS Academic

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 435, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'planets'' or 'planet's'?
Suggestion: planets'; planet's
...oes not treat the waste in advance, the planets ecosystem could be imperiled. Secondly,...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, first, firstly, if, second, secondly, so, for instance, in conclusion, in general, such as, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 13.1623246493 68% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 7.85571142285 102% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 10.4138276553 67% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 7.30460921844 82% => OK
Pronoun: 18.0 24.0651302605 75% => OK
Preposition: 31.0 41.998997996 74% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.3376753507 96% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1371.0 1615.20841683 85% => OK
No of words: 257.0 315.596192385 81% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.33463035019 5.12529762239 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.00390054096 4.20363070211 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.07590440455 2.80592935109 110% => OK
Unique words: 153.0 176.041082164 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.5953307393 0.561755894193 106% => OK
syllable_count: 437.4 506.74238477 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 5.43587174349 110% => OK
Article: 4.0 2.52805611222 158% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.10420841683 48% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 0.809619238477 247% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.76152304609 126% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 16.0721442886 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 19.0 20.2975951904 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.6625676039 49.4020404114 86% => OK
Chars per sentence: 105.461538462 106.682146367 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.7692307692 20.7667163134 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.53846153846 7.06120827912 135% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.67935871743 104% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.9879759519 25% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 3.4128256513 88% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.174358945659 0.244688304435 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.061372608215 0.084324248473 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0476153125949 0.0667982634062 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.120620595312 0.151304729494 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0346683529513 0.056905535591 61% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.6 13.0946893788 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 43.73 50.2224549098 87% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 11.3001002004 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.63 12.4159519038 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.49 8.58950901804 110% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 78.4519038076 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 9.78957915832 107% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.1190380762 95% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.7795591182 130% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.