53. Compared with people who live in urban areas, those who live in rural areas can take better care of their families.
People are responsible to provide both convenience and attention for their families financially and mentally. When it comes to care of family members in two various situations, the controversy surrounds the issue of whether people who live in a city can pay more attention to their family members, or those who reside in urban area. Some people are of the opinion that since there is a wide variety of facilities offered by knowledgeable parents in urban areas, family members can be protected much better than children in rural area. I believe, however, one of the most unique features of rural life is that people significantly devote themselves to their family members for some reasons.
One of the most interesting facets of the ongoing discussion which demands a keen contemplation is that the characteristics of rural area facilitate taking care of family members comfortably. Many people in rural area are farmers, they have to work just two months for irrigation and cultivation of their crops. The rest of a year, they have sufficient time to allocate for the family members. In fact, they are not too busy that they have no time for their families as people in metropolitan cities. People living in metropolis are spending all their times at work because of pressure and higher cost of living; in this case, they cannot see or communicate with their children as well as those in urban can. Moreover, there is less entertainment in rural areas. People in city life have spent their valuable times in international restautants, parks, and museums. Parents even go to restautants everyday to order daily food for all family members. However, in rural areas, parents cook food at homes, which brings the sense of comfort for all the members. As a result, they have more time to spend with thier children to listen to their problems and offer them a piece of advice. This means strengthening the bond among family members, which will be reflected in the children's personal life in the future.
Another noteworthy aspect of the current discussion which needs to be considered is that the tradition of urban life brings more care for family members. For example, in a farmer family, the boys follow their fathers' jobs. When parents have been working on farming fields for many years to meet their children's needs, the boys will take such responsibilities to ease the pressure and the burden of living expenses from their fathers' shoulders in the future. Besides, when the boys get married, they will stay with their families. In fact, the newly-married brides have to do all the household chores so that the grooms’ mothers can take rest. All these duties lead to take care of parents in rural areas. While people in metropolitan cities are not able even to visit their parents once a week.
To sum up, living in rural area means devoting more love and care both mentally and financially for parents and children due to having enough time and their customs.
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Sentence: People in city life have spent their valuable times in international restautants, parks, and museums.
Error: restautants Suggestion: restaurants
Sentence: Parents even go to restautants everyday to order daily food for all family members.
Error: restautants Suggestion: restaurants
Sentence: As a result, they have more time to spend with thier children to listen to their problems and offer them a piece of advice.
Error: thier Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
is that the tradition of urban life brings more care for family members.
is that the tradition of rural life brings more care for family members.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 25 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 501 350
No. of Characters: 2410 1500
No. of Different Words: 235 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.731 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.81 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.583 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 160 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 108 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 64 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.783 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.007 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.478 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.309 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.445 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.103 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5