the advertising is the most important factor of the unhealthy habits??agree or disagree??

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the advertising is the most important factor of the unhealthy habits??agree or disagree??

Generally speaking, being healthy is a very crucial part in our life. It is important because it provides people with a healthy body away from any diseases. In my view, I agree with this statement for the following two essential reasons.

One of the reasons is that the advertising is always introducing the products in a tempting manner. In other words, seeing a delecious, good looking burger sandwich of a particular restaurant is so seducing, which in turn make the people rush themselves to taste this sandwich without thinking that how many calories or does this sandwich has an essential vitamins in it? A vivid example can be given to shed a light on what alluded above. A recent research had showed that the most people with the heart diseases are due to their habits of eating a variety of junk food that showed in the advertising. One of the main diseases is the myocardial infarction, which is the blockage of the main arteries in the heart. If these cases do not receive the immediate treatment, it will lead to death. The only way to reduce the risk of this disease is by avoiding the food that the advertising companies are talking about and consider a health food instead. However, one argument put forward is that without the advertisement, the people will not be able to know what is beneficial for them, it still convincing that the disadvantages far outweigh the benefits.

The other concern is that the advertising companies usually focus on making a profit rather than care about the individual’s health. To be more precise, introducing a product would definitely needs a huge investment. The only way to return this money back to the company and make a good yeild is by advertising and pursuade the people to buy this product. For instance, a few weeks ago, I saw an ad on television about the ready to eat steak, which needed only to warm it up in the microwave. It was alluring for me because I work the whole week and when I came back home I did not have time to cook. I did not think about the calories. After a few weeks, I weigh myself and I found I gained five pounds because of this food. It is really necessary to think about the kind of the food before purchase it.

By the way of conclusion based on the aspects revealed above. In my perspective and the way I look at it, I think advertising is a noticable factor in unhealthy body.

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Comments

does this sandwich has an essential vitamins in it?
does this sandwich have an essential vitamins in it?

It is really necessary to think about the kind of the food before purchase it.
It is really necessary to think about the kind of the food before we purchase it.

Sentence: In other words, seeing a delecious, good looking burger sandwich of a particular restaurant is so seducing, which in turn make the people rush themselves to taste this sandwich without thinking that how many calories or does this sandwich has an essential vitamins in it?
Error: delecious Suggestion: delicious

Sentence: The only way to return this money back to the company and make a good yeild is by advertising and pursuade the people to buy this product.
Error: pursuade Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: yeild Suggestion: yield

Sentence: In my perspective and the way I look at it, I think advertising is a noticable factor in unhealthy body.
Error: noticable Suggestion: noticeable

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 426 350
No. of Characters: 1901 1500
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Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.543 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.462 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.586 2.4
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Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.286 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.784 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.429 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.277 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.46 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.065 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5