Children rely too much on the technology, like computers, smart phones, video games for fun and entertainment. Playing simpler toys or playing outside with friends would be better for children’s development.
Nowadays, technology is improving much more than in the past. All kinds of digital products are out of society such as smartphones, tablets, video games, etc.. At the same time, children acquire their first digital product much earlier than in the past. That simply cause that children rely too much on technology. In my perspective, I totally agree that children got outside to play with friends would be a better development for them, instead of playing the digital devices at the home.
First of all, these years, digital devices are growing fast and extremely common around the world. Which many parents are really concerned about the time that children should spend on their digital products. The scientist did lots of different research on a similar topic about the influence that digital products bring to the children. For example, scientist found out that children who spent more time on their devices are more easily to lose their concentration in the class. Which shows that children today rely too much on the technology, once they do not have the device around they lose their concentration immediately.
Moreover, in my opinion, children who go outside to play with their friends are more confident in society. The communication with friends, teachers or even parents is an extremely important experience in our life. It is a great chance to learn how to get along with friends. When you communicate with friends you will see different characters that each of them has. For example, when I go out with my friends I always observe more about them and I can know a little bit more about their personality when we hang out. It is an important life experience for children to talk and to communicate with friends. If we Do not go out to hang out with friends, I believe that the world will become a very solitary place.
To conclusion, I think it is very significant for children to play toys and also play outside with friends. It can help children stay away or probably reduce the chance that children rely on technology and it is also important for children to learn how to communicate with others.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2020-04-19 | hamedakbarian | 73 | view |
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 158, Rule ID: DOUBLE_PUNCTUATION
Message: Two consecutive dots
Suggestion: .
...s smartphones, tablets, video games, etc.. At the same time, children acquire thei...
^^
Line 3, column 100, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Which” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... and extremely common around the world. Which many parents are really concerned about...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 567, Rule ID: NOUN_AROUND_IT[1]
Message: Consider using 'the surrounding device'?
Suggestion: the surrounding device
...n the technology, once they do not have the device around they lose their concentration immediately. ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 276, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “When” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...to learn how to get along with friends. When you communicate with friends you will s...
^^^^
Line 5, column 460, Rule ID: LITTLE_BIT[1]
Message: Reduce redundancy by using 'little' or 'bit'.
Suggestion: little; bit
...bserve more about them and I can know a little bit more about their personality when we ha...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, if, moreover, really, so, for example, i think, such as, first of all, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.0286738351 154% => OK
Pronoun: 42.0 43.0788530466 97% => OK
Preposition: 60.0 52.1666666667 115% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1759.0 1977.66487455 89% => OK
No of words: 362.0 407.700716846 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.8591160221 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.36191444098 4.48103885553 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.61531608201 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 173.0 212.727598566 81% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.477900552486 0.524837075471 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 533.7 618.680645161 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 33.2644903131 48.9658058833 68% => OK
Chars per sentence: 92.5789473684 100.406767564 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.0526315789 20.6045352989 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.10526315789 5.45110844103 94% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.328855527602 0.236089414692 139% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.112069666415 0.076458572812 147% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.103215387619 0.0737576698707 140% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.231063385843 0.150856017488 153% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.095356765945 0.0645574589148 148% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.0 11.7677419355 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.91 10.9000537634 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.98 8.01818996416 87% => OK
difficult_words: 55.0 86.8835125448 63% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.