Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Most business people are only motivated by the desire of money.
People attend to jobs and work in that jobs to earn money to use that money in their life to pay expenses, improve their life quality, also making a better life for their families. But there are some other motivators for human rather than money for working like the social position which that person gets, contributions which they could do to their society and etc. While the mandatory believe about business people is that their only goal is money, I believe these people also have some other motivators to do their job.
The notion which is most of business people are only motivated by the desire of money relies of the aim of their jobs. The aim of business jobs is to earn more money as they can do. So this notion formed that the aim of them and motivator of them is money. If it is a true statement, Therefore, aim of a musician is only music, aim of a mine worker is just digging mines. We know this is not true for them, so same for business people. We couldn’t judge about their people desires with only considering their jobs conditions.
In addition, there are a lot of people who involved in business jobs with a standard salary. Only a few people in the hierarchy pyramid of business jobs earn huge money. There are many other jobs with higher salaries to attend. If their only motivator is money, then why these people stay in business related jobs. My uncle who was a businessman for many years, and now retired, salary is less than my fathers who have worked for a medical company. But I know my uncle motivator the business is that he was so talented in that field. In addition, he loved his job which resulted to stay on that job for many years with a standard salary.
In summary, while the main propose of working is earn money for all of the people, there are many other motivators rather than money which persuade people to do their jobs. In my opinion considering business people aim only money is a big mistake which driven from the aim of these people jobs. Therefore, these people like other people love their jobs and have many other motivators rather than money.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 358, Rule ID: AND_ETC[1]
Message: Use simply 'etc.'.
Suggestion: etc.
...ns which they could do to their society and etc. While the mandatory believe about busin...
^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 50, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'earned'.
Suggestion: earned
...y, while the main propose of working is earn money for all of the people, there are ...
^^^^
Line 4, column 65, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...in propose of working is earn money for all of the people, there are many other motivators...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 173, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...which persuade people to do their jobs. In my opinion considering business people ...
^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'if', 'so', 'then', 'therefore', 'while', 'in addition', 'in summary', 'in my opinion']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.266826923077 0.229887763892 116% => OK
Verbs: 0.149038461538 0.158761421928 94% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0841346153846 0.0866891130778 97% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0432692307692 0.046263068375 94% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0697115384615 0.0685040099705 102% => OK
Prepositions: 0.137019230769 0.118717715034 115% => OK
Participles: 0.0264423076923 0.0351676179071 75% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.24555369973 2.67179642975 84% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0240384615385 0.0309702414327 78% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.00188951952338 0% => More particles wanted.
Determiners: 0.0865384615385 0.0887237588012 98% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.00480769230769 0.0209618222197 23% => More modal verbs wanted.
WH_determiners: 0.0240384615385 0.0139019557991 173% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2096.0 2387.08602151 88% => OK
No of words: 381.0 408.028673835 93% => OK
Chars per words: 5.50131233596 5.86048508987 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.41805628031 4.48200974243 99% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.275590551181 0.338922669872 81% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.170603674541 0.251872472559 68% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.11811023622 0.174417080927 68% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.0603674540682 0.112833075102 54% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.24555369973 2.67179642975 84% => OK
Unique words: 154.0 212.727598566 72% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.404199475066 0.524397521467 77% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 41.8888444981 59.2087087015 71% => OK
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6684587814 92% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0526315789 20.5533526081 98% => OK
Sentence length SD: 38.8807395938 48.84282405 80% => OK
Chars per sentence: 110.315789474 120.699889404 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.0526315789 20.5533526081 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.526315789474 0.644075263715 82% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.5376344086 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.54480286738 72% => OK
Readability: 37.112999033 45.7405998639 81% => OK
Elegance: 1.64220183486 1.45489161554 113% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.321635006128 0.300154397459 107% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.15618002998 0.103427244359 151% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0759563207858 0.0752933317313 101% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.535421875306 0.497263757937 108% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.147417873774 0.151897553556 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.141828811835 0.114077575197 124% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.113108440293 0.0781384742642 145% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.338461978189 0.336927656856 100% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0583796355184 0.067059652881 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.234057600176 0.210909579961 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0809827926292 0.0618886996521 131% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8870967742 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.86379928315 52% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.91756272401 163% => OK
Positive topic words: 7.0 8.42114695341 83% => OK
Negative topic words: 1.0 2.4623655914 41% => More negative topic words wanted.
Neutral topic words: 7.0 2.75985663082 254% => OK
Total topic words: 15.0 13.6433691756 110% => OK
--------------------------
Rates: 68 out of 100
Scores by essay E-rater: 20 Out of 30