Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Movies and television have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
In the contemporary world, we have been surounded by a lot of technologies which can be used in the way that push people toward a better life. One of the effects of new technologoies is makeing TV's and movies more accisible. So indispensible are effects of watching TVs and movies that people have to be aware of them. The controversial question which arises here is whether these effects are negative or positive on younger people. As far as I am concerned, I believe that the effects of movies and television is not good and affect on them badly. I will elaborate on my reasins in the following paragraphs.
To begin with, one of the most effective things that fascinated young people is watching movies and serials which have been showed on TVs. It would be appreaciably attractive and joyful for them to spentd their time in front of Tv for a long time. The first negative effect on them is changing their food diet because during watching movies they are eating junk food without being awareness of what they are eating and after that, they cannot have for example dinner so in this way their diet is changed and that will be under the risk of getting deseas. Mreover, the actcion movies is thier favorite genar and most of these movies affects their scocial behaviours strongly and in the most times, it results in they prefer to be alone. Hence, their minds may be in facing some dangerous situations.
Second, the main goal of making programms on TVs or creating movies is advertising, so it would be an asset for commpanies to attract people to watch them. According to a study conducted by the Universiy of Tehran the approaches used by creators of shows and films and etc. are ones that try to attract younger people than older and this is because of the fact that the greatest group of watchers is the young people. Hence, advertising is designed to fascinate them and I beleive these advertise deviate their minde to render a approprite decison so it is an adverse effect on them. Furthermore, nowadays there is no any programs on TVs wanting to elevates the level of public knowldege, thefore this causes young people just think about joyful programs on Tvs. Take my experience as an example, my father always said to me to watch scientific channels because they could expand my viewpoint and I can see the life through differnt lenses in the future. His speech avoids me to be affected by negatives effects of funny and useless shows.
In conclusion, I believe that young people affect by TV and movies negatively because they can causes deseases and the cahange their scocial behaviors. Also, the young people is a group which the main goal of advertising is attracting them and sell products to this great group of people.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 486, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...am concerned, I believe that the effects of movies and television is not good and...
^^
Line 1, column 529, Rule ID: AFFECT_EFFECT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'effect'?
Suggestion: effect
...f movies and television is not good and affect on them badly. I will elaborate on my reas...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 266, Rule ID: AND_ETC[1]
Message: Use simply 'etc.'.
Suggestion: etc.
...hes used by creators of shows and films and etc. are ones that try to attract younger pe...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 342, Rule ID: BECAUSE_OF_THE_FACT_THAT[1]
Message: This phrase is redundant. Use simply 'because'.
Suggestion: because
...t younger people than older and this is because of the fact that the greatest group of watchers is the y...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 528, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...advertise deviate their minde to render a approprite decison so it is an adverse ...
^
Line 5, column 616, Rule ID: NOW[2]
Message: Did you mean 'now' (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
Suggestion: now
...on them. Furthermore, nowadays there is no any programs on TVs wanting to elevates...
^^
Line 5, column 650, Rule ID: TO_NON_BASE[1]
Message: The verb after "to" should be in the base form: 'elevate'.
Suggestion: elevate
...re is no any programs on TVs wanting to elevates the level of public knowldege, thefore ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 96, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: 'cause'
Suggestion: cause
... and movies negatively because they can causes deseases and the cahange their scocial ...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, furthermore, hence, if, may, second, so, for example, in conclusion, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 31.0 15.1003584229 205% => Less to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 13.8261648746 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 55.0 43.0788530466 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 66.0 52.1666666667 127% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.0752688172 25% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2271.0 1977.66487455 115% => OK
No of words: 480.0 407.700716846 118% => OK
Chars per words: 4.73125 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.68069463864 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5643379249 2.67179642975 96% => OK
Unique words: 233.0 212.727598566 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.485416666667 0.524837075471 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 695.7 618.680645161 112% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 60.1628445723 48.9658058833 123% => OK
Chars per sentence: 119.526315789 100.406767564 119% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.2631578947 20.6045352989 123% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.0 5.45110844103 92% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.5376344086 144% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.218488995183 0.236089414692 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0752624048135 0.076458572812 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0474623467923 0.0737576698707 64% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.14964237763 0.150856017488 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0698889878569 0.0645574589148 108% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.5 11.7677419355 115% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 63.02 58.1214874552 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.45 10.9000537634 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.33 8.01818996416 104% => OK
difficult_words: 105.0 86.8835125448 121% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 10.002688172 115% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.