Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at young age. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at young age.

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

When it comes to the issue that whether children should learn to manage their own money at young age or not, opinions about this issue diverge from people to people, and culture to culture. Some people agree that children should learn to manage their own money as soon as possible, while others think the children should get financial supports till they have sound background and savvy skills. Although having the long-term financial support has its merits, I personally agree on the prior points.

Getting financial support from the families would make the children be more available to focus on enhancing their background knowledge and to get nice skill training without interrupts. Last year, an investigation in US collected the data which showed the ages of those successful business man thought when they started to know that their life goal. The statistics show that lots of these successful tycoon figured out what are their life goals till their 30s. Although this kind of investigation and questionnaire try bolster that the children should not try to learn their money management in their early age, there are some flaws and public concens lie in this assumption and statistics.

Although those tycoon found their long-term goals after 30 years old, there are no data shows that these successful figures did not live independently. These figures might be busy finding their life-long path while struggling with their financial shortage. In my opinion, being able to find a way to solve people's financial problems helps to learn how to control and assign limit resources. There are some studies shows that sometimes let the children lack of resources will make them be more eager to find solutions to solve their current difficulties.

There are even some public concerns that the result of lacking management of financial of young adults. In Japan, there is a trend that young adults tend to stay at home. These cause a major problems that make their families get more financial burden. With the increasing age problem lies in Japan society, this kind of tendency that more young adults are still getting financial supports will make the age problem much more severe.

In sum, although there are some benefits that providing children until they get enough skills to live in the current world, I personally thinks that getting financial independent overweighs providing financial supports.

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2015-10-06 patel dolly 80 view
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There are some studies shows that
There are some studies showing that

There are even some public concerns that the result of lacking management of financial of young adults.
There are even some public concerns about the result of lacking management of financial of young adults.

although there are some benefits that providing children until they get enough skills
although there are some benefits that provide children until they get enough skills
although there are some benefits providing children until they get enough skills

I personally thinks that
I personally think that

Sentence: Although this kind of investigation and questionnaire try bolster that the children should not try to learn their money management in their early age, there are some flaws and public concens lie in this assumption and statistics.
Error: concens Suggestion: concerns

Sentence: In sum, although there are some benefits that providing children until they get enough skills to live in the current world, I personally thinks that getting financial independent overweighs providing financial supports.
Error: overweighs Suggestion: No alternate word

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 23 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 391 350
No. of Characters: 1978 1500
No. of Different Words: 202 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.447 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.059 4.6
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Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
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Sentence Length SD: 7.616 7.5
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Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.115 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5