Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People benefit more from traveling in their own country than from traveling to foreign country.

Nowadays, it is commonly accepted that if people choosing different cities in their own country for travel and spending their free time, they could saving the profits that obtaining by the tourist in their own country. Surely, this way is more beneficial for all of the people in the country. Contrary, to these popular beliefs there are still those who argue that this is incredible that spending their money on travel to nearby cities when they can travel to other countries with the same budget. I, to a great extent, agree with this idea that people benefit more from traveling in their own country that traveling to foreign countries.

First and foremost, improving the tourism industry in the country. It is clear that through traveling to the potential region in the country, we can encourage the government and private companies to invest in this field. By attracting more finance to these regions and creation of fundamental facilities, not only internal tourist attract to these regions but also people from another country arrive to visit these regions. Besides, an extension of tourism led to booming a lot of jobs in the country, like the expansion of transportation and airlines, hotels and tourism companies. In this way, by improving a different economical portion of the country, we can increase the money cycle in all economical parts of the country and providing a more comfortable life for our society.

Another significant fact that should be taken into the consideration is that creation of job opportunity in poor regions. Unfortunately, most of the potential tourism regions in the country have not well-developed industry or manufactures. Every year a lot of people from these regions migrate to big cities to find the job and a lot of a number of villages became empty. It led to a remarkable increase in cities population and creation huge problem for city managers that is followed by an increase in taxes and rise in living costs for people. But internal traveling by the creation of different kind of jobs can improve people living in the village and help to a better distribution of the population in the country.

On the basis of reasons that mentioned above, I am convinced that people benefit more from traveling in their own country than foreign country. Because of its positive effect on the economic condition of the whole country and improving living condition for all of the people in the country.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 149, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'could' requires the base form of the verb: 'save'
Suggestion: save
...nd spending their free time, they could saving the profits that obtaining by the touri...
^^^^^^
Line 1, column 260, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...Surely, this way is more beneficial for all of the people in the country. Contrary, to the...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 258, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...ntry and improving living condition for all of the people in the country.
^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, first, if, so, still, well, kind of, to a great extent

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 15.1003584229 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.0286738351 127% => OK
Pronoun: 39.0 43.0788530466 91% => OK
Preposition: 71.0 52.1666666667 136% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 8.0752688172 173% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2038.0 1977.66487455 103% => OK
No of words: 408.0 407.700716846 100% => OK
Chars per words: 4.99509803922 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.49433085973 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.73391893887 2.67179642975 102% => OK
Unique words: 185.0 212.727598566 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.453431372549 0.524837075471 86% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 638.1 618.680645161 103% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 42.7607808044 48.9658058833 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 127.375 100.406767564 127% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.5 20.6045352989 124% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.625 5.45110844103 85% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.88709677419 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.388724073013 0.236089414692 165% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.1375981735 0.076458572812 180% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.155641585015 0.0737576698707 211% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.264933758168 0.150856017488 176% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.143611708216 0.0645574589148 222% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.9 11.7677419355 127% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 58.1214874552 79% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 10.1575268817 128% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.02 10.9000537634 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.32 8.01818996416 104% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 86.8835125448 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 10.002688172 130% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.