Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should take time to relax with hobbies or physical activities that are very different from what they do at work.
Throughout history, a hobby has played a prominent role in all societies. Because it is of paramount importance, researchers have always searched for ways to enhance the quality of hobbies. Whether or not humans ought to choose entertainment or physical activities in free time different from their career is controversial. I content that individual should better select differ from their work. So, I concur with this proposal.
The first important factor to be mentioned is that doing a different activity can improve mental ability. To elaborate on my point, owing to choosing a different activity, people would have a pleasant time. In this situation, a person doing another activity without thinking about her or his career and problem that he or she must deal with them. So, she can improve mental ability and refreshing her mind. Hence, after having pleasure time, she able to better concentrate on her work, and she would find an influential solution. In contrast, if a worker chooses physical activities or entertainment related to her occupation, she may not pleasure her free time and reduce her stress. Because, in this situation, she may think about her career so that she could not enjoy her free time.
Another reason which deserves some words here is that a worker has the opportunity to learn new professions by choosing a different activity from their career. To shed more light on this matter, since humankind tries to do new activities, they would learn firsthand experience. In other words, they would learn another activity alongside their career. It helps them to improve their ability. Handing some knowledge from fields not related to own major focus will offer us lots of benefits. People enrich themselves from those hobbies and physical activities; learn something new is always good for them for the future use Consider a person who chooses to do a sport in free time to reduce her stress for instance. She learns new activities that help her to become healthy and reducing her stress. With doing regular sports, she can reduce her stress and increasing adrenalin in her body so that she would better concentrate on her occupation. Also, she may become a prosperous person in sports and become a coach. Therefore, she able to gain money from this ability besides her career.
All in all, all the aforementioned reasons lead us to the conclusion that people better select entertainment different from their main career. I believe that new activities not only improve mental ability but also learn a new profession of the people.
- TPO 29 60
- TOEFL TPO 34 - Integrated Writing Task 60
- TOEFL T P O 42 - Integrated Writing Task 80
- Do you agree or disagree？ It is better to relax by watching a movie or reading a book thandoing physical exercise. Explain your answer with examples and specific reasons. 70
- It is more enjoyable to have a job where you work only three days a week for long hours than to have a job where you work five days a week for shorter hours 71
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 191, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'Whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: Whether
...ways to enhance the quality of hobbies. Whether or not humans ought to choose entertainment or...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, first, hence, if, may, so, therefore, for instance, in contrast, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 15.1003584229 40% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 9.8082437276 163% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 64.0 43.0788530466 149% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 54.0 52.1666666667 104% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2200.0 1977.66487455 111% => OK
No of words: 423.0 407.700716846 104% => OK
Chars per words: 5.20094562648 4.8611393121 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.53508145475 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70472316291 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 209.0 212.727598566 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.494089834515 0.524837075471 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 661.5 618.680645161 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 11.0 4.94265232975 223% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 42.2184917029 48.9658058833 86% => OK
Chars per sentence: 91.6666666667 100.406767564 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.625 20.6045352989 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.125 5.45110844103 76% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 11.8709677419 152% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.192605164415 0.236089414692 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.062043194287 0.076458572812 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0466023142282 0.0737576698707 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.132165070292 0.150856017488 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.043681685707 0.0645574589148 68% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.9 11.7677419355 101% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 58.1214874552 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.58 10.9000537634 115% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.62 8.01818996416 95% => OK
difficult_words: 84.0 86.8835125448 97% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.