Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Playing computer games is a waste of time. Children should not be allowed to play them. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Historically, games and playing them have an important role in the human life. We can find a lot books and researches that talk about game and its importance for human being. But today’s by improving the level of technology and introducing video games these good sense about games has changed. Nowadays, computer games and playing them is the one of controversial issues among the parents and experts. In this case some groups say playing video games is useful for children and other groups argue against on it. I totally agree with the group who have positive view point about video games. I will vindicate my point of view in the following article.
For the first reason I could say, when children play a video game they can experience a lot of excitement that help them to become happy and energetic. Parents can have happiest and active children by allowing them to play video games. According to the latest research by psychology department of University Of Tehran, releasing endorphin (the hormone is released by brain that caused people feel excitement) in the body of children who play computer games 50 percent more than children they don’t play this kind of games.
In the second reason, I could bring this argue that children can learn a lot of things and useful information by playing video games. For instance, I learned full history of World War II when I was playing Call Of duty that is one of the most famous video games based on the history of World War II. In another example I could say, most of my knowledge about Crusade back to a video game that name is Stronghold’s wars.
Finally, I should mentioned although some experts and people believe playing computer games is harmful for children eyes health, there are a lot of evidences that show playing video games is useful in treating some kind of disease and symptoms that affect human eyes. One of the most important of them is lazy Eye Syndrome. “Playing video games is one the most appropriate treatment that suggested by doctors for people who have Lazy Eye syndrome”, Dr. Sheldon Cooper who is the head of Medicine department in the John Hopkins University, says in the CNN interview.
I think by above reasons we can conclude, not only playing video games is not harmful and wasting of time but also there are a lot of evidences that show this kind of games have a lot of advantages. For last comment I should say parents must change their negative attitude about video games and allow children to spend more time over playing computer games.
Comments
Thanks a lot
Thanks a lot
But today’s by improving the level of technology and introducing video games
But today by improving the level of technology and introducing video games
computer games and playing them is the one of controversial issues
Description: can you re-write this sentence?
the group who have positive view point about video games.
the group who has positive points of view about video games.
a lot of excitement
a lot of excitements
more than children they don’t play this kind of games.
more than children who don’t play this kind of games.
one the most appropriate treatment that suggested by doctors
one the most appropriate treatments that are suggested by doctors
one the most appropriate treatments suggested by doctors
not only playing video games is not harmful and wasting of time but also there are a lot of evidences
Description: 'Not only...but also' is not used properly. can you re-write this sentence?
flaws:
1. No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
2.No. of Words: 441 while No. of Different Words: 205
3. The introduction paragraph is too long.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 441 350
No. of Characters: 2043 1500
No. of Different Words: 205 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.583 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.633 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.377 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 126 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 101 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.339 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.389 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.391 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.579 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.185 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5