Do you agree or disagree the following statement? Television advertising directed towards young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed.

Essay topics:

Do you agree or disagree the following statement? Television advertising directed towards young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed.

The television commercials have become a non-negligible part of our life along with the television. There also comes discussion whether the ads aimed at the young children should be allowed or not. I don't think they should be allowed for several reasons below.

The first reason is its biased influence on the young children. The television ads are generally fancy and attracting in which the product is presented in an unrealistic way. The young children's cognitive ability is not mature, which means they are not capable of distinguishing the real from the virtual. For instance, there is a chocolate ad showing that if you ate the chocolate, you will be surrounded by silks made of chocolate. This ad intends to show the silky taste of chocolate, but from a child's perspective, he or she will remember that eating chocolate will bring silks around. This is a distortion of the child's cognitive ability.

Besides, the biased view presented by the ads aimed at children often brings quarrels to the family. The parents, as adults, values the usage of the products more, but the young children are just capricious, they are easily attracted. The typical situation is that the children want to buy a toy advocated with fancy views in the television but the parents realize that it is a kind of toys that the children had lost interest in. And the typical result is a quarrel, which is unnecessary. These kind of quarrels bring no benefit to the family with an end that either the parents reluctantly pay or the children angrily and sadly rest.

There are also some benefits of these ads. For example, it promotes the economy especially the industry aimed at children. But with the consideration of the trouble it brings, I agree that the television advertising directed at young children should not be allowed.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 201, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...ng children should be allowed or not. I dont think they should be allowed for severa...
^^^^
Line 3, column 153, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in an unrealistic way" with adverb for "unrealistic"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...cting in which the product is presented in an unrealistic way. The young childrens cognitive ability ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 176, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...uct is presented in an unrealistic way. The young childrens cognitive ability is no...
^^^
Line 5, column 491, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this kind' or 'These kinds'?
Suggestion: This kind; These kinds
...ult is a quarrel, which is unnecessary. These kind of quarrels bring no benefit to the fam...
^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, first, if, so, for example, for instance, kind of

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 43.0788530466 58% => OK
Preposition: 33.0 52.1666666667 63% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1514.0 1977.66487455 77% => OK
No of words: 307.0 407.700716846 75% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.93159609121 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.18585898806 4.48103885553 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74959859196 2.67179642975 103% => OK
Unique words: 162.0 212.727598566 76% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.527687296417 0.524837075471 101% => OK
syllable_count: 471.6 618.680645161 76% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 7.0 3.08781362007 227% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 0.0 4.94265232975 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 41.1464596517 48.9658058833 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 89.0588235294 100.406767564 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.0588235294 20.6045352989 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.05882352941 5.45110844103 74% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 11.8709677419 51% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.225788563512 0.236089414692 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0720685830474 0.076458572812 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0916809405427 0.0737576698707 124% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.152594107552 0.150856017488 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0711902806418 0.0645574589148 110% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.8 11.7677419355 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 58.1214874552 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.02 10.9000537634 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.23 8.01818996416 103% => OK
difficult_words: 72.0 86.8835125448 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.