Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
A job with more vacation time but low salary is better than a job with a high salary but less vacation.
As some people may hold the view that earning money is the most important factor in a vocation; however, some others respect the other factors which their values are beyond a finance income. I personally agree with the second belief. Among the countless reasons which advocate my viewpoint I will delve into the most outstanding ones that persuade me to put forward this perspective.
The first exquisite reason which confirms my idea's accuracy is the importance of the period which is spent with the family. Nowadays, based upon the todays' lifestyle and its tempo, most of the people are in the hurry and rush. It is really arduous to schedule a convenient plan to spend with the family members. This scenario leads to a compacted society whose members are far way with the restricted communications. Thus, to overcome this condition and tackle its difficulties, owning a job with more vacation is a decent idea. This condition helps to strengthen and fortify the links among the people. The noteworthy interesting research conducted in my country Iran illustrates that more than the sixty five percent of the busy employees in Tehran spend less than two hours a day with their family members, which depicts how this condition chaotic is. Consequently, the strong relationships among the family members should be evaluated highly than a high salary.
The last reason is the feeling of the self-satisfaction. By a tough program, it is difficult to make a balance between the daily duties and the personal stuffs; moreover, most of the time, the big portion of a spotlight is on the occupation and its duties. In this case, an individual can be considered as a robot without any spare time to spend for himself. It can lead to monotone in his life as a result becomes an exhausted person without any enthusiasm to encourage him for a proper function. A vivid example can be given to shed light to the subject is my own example. The last year, I was overwhelmed with a heavy plan in my office, and I could roughly spend one hour a day as the duration for my personal tasks. In the beginning it was not important and explicit; but after a while this condition made me upset. I felt as an emotionless person with limited social activities; and it was beyond my internal desire.
To wrap it up, all aforementioned reasons and examples lead to the conclusion that an occupation with the more vacation and the less salary is more invaluable. Since, it helps to fortify and enhance the relationship with family members; besides, have more self-satisfaction and enjoy the short span of the life.
- tpo45 70
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respect the other factors which their values are beyond a finance income.
respect the other factors whose values are beyond a finance income.
in my country Iran illustrates that more than the sixty five percent of the busy employees
in my country illustrates that more than sixty five percent of the busy employees
how this condition chaotic is.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?
should be evaluated highly than a high salary.
should be evaluated highly more than a high salary.
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Words: 444 while No. of Different Words: 237
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 444 350
No. of Characters: 2099 1500
No. of Different Words: 237 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.59 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.727 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.73 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 146 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 105 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 68 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 47 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.143 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.459 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.476 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.276 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.454 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.066 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5