Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Children rely too much on the technology, like computers, smart phones, video games for fun and entertainment. Playing simpler toys or playing outside with friends would be better for children’ s development.
No one can cast a shadow of doubt on the fact that technology has a positive earthshaking effect on people's lives. As the time passes, lives are becoming more dependent on technology. Nevertheless, children, as a class of people, who don't really know what the effective utilization of these tools is, are in exposure to its side effects. As far as I am concerned, witnessing quite a few of children, children playing with toys or outside with their friends have numerous benefits which outweigh playing with different types of technological means. There are miscellaneous reasons for this viewpoint, two of the paramount ones are stated in details hereunder.
First and foremost, there are few, if any, criteria that are more important than mental health in the assessment of one's healthiness. Let's suppose technology games as "silent games" and playing with toys and playing outside as "exciting games." One of the irrecoverable problems as an effect of silent games is growing autism children. Silence is an auxiliary motivator for autism—which is a neural disorder affecting verbal and non-verbal communication. Children who are prone to have autism and play with silent games, can hardly be distinguished by their parents because they are silent among playing these games. As a result, the future of this generation will be children who have abnormalities and here a question arises, how should this society will be managed? In contrast, when children play exciting games, according to behaviors they show, their parents can understand what the children's stresses and concerns are. Besides, these games will lead children to cultivate their talent in the area they enjoy from. In addition, exciting games make children to become more creative. Playing, they can build whatever they need with toys they have. Based on a proverb, the more the life restrictions are, the more creative a person will be.
Last but, of course, not least, exciting games will play an important role to children's behaviors including social and personal. For children to improve their social behaviors, they should play with their friends. This makes children's teamwork abilities to extremely improve. Two of which are the experience of being within a group and talking skills. For their future, these are behaviors worth starving for. Children's personal behavior will improve in another way as well. Playing with toys, they can learn the name of colors, cloths as well as the ability of bathing and feeding in the different ages of their lives. Silent games, however, because have nothing but some repetitive patterns, will have no effective influence on their behaviors.
To sum up, with all taken into account, I do believe that although technology has a positive effect on people's lives, it cannot be guaranteed that it has the same effect on developing children. Owing to what was discussed above, playing with toys or friends, will develop children by affecting their mental health and social behaviors.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2020-01-20 | farzaddanaei | 73 | view |
| 2020-01-01 | prsghsm | 81 | view |
| 2019-11-02 | hipoo_28 | 90 | view |
| 2019-10-14 | Ramkal | 76 | view |
| 2019-09-17 | samaneh.armn.71 | 73 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
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No one can cast a shadow of doubt on the...
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...ss, children, as a class of people, who dont really know what the effective utilizat...
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... ones are stated in details hereunder. First and foremost, there are few, if an...
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Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
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...than mental health in the assessment of ones healthiness. Lets suppose technology ga...
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Message: Did you mean 'Let's'?
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... in the assessment of ones healthiness. Lets suppose technology games as 'silen...
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...re, the more creative a person will be. Last but, of course, not least, exciting...
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Suggestion:
...ffective influence on their behaviors. To sum up, with all taken into account, ...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, but, first, however, if, nevertheless, really, so, well, in addition, in contrast, of course, as a result, as well as, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 15.1003584229 152% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 9.8082437276 173% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 43.0788530466 81% => OK
Preposition: 61.0 52.1666666667 117% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2533.0 1977.66487455 128% => OK
No of words: 483.0 407.700716846 118% => OK
Chars per words: 5.24430641822 4.8611393121 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.68799114503 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79860518356 2.67179642975 105% => OK
Unique words: 252.0 212.727598566 118% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.521739130435 0.524837075471 99% => OK
syllable_count: 769.5 618.680645161 124% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 20.6003584229 121% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.5538140221 48.9658058833 95% => OK
Chars per sentence: 101.32 100.406767564 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.32 20.6045352989 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.48 5.45110844103 101% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.5376344086 126% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 11.8709677419 152% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.296978000922 0.236089414692 126% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0867403875113 0.076458572812 113% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0730469366415 0.0737576698707 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.202601914097 0.150856017488 134% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0260291756653 0.0645574589148 40% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.9 11.7677419355 110% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 58.1214874552 90% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.11 10.9000537634 120% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.6 8.01818996416 107% => OK
difficult_words: 123.0 86.8835125448 142% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.