Technological hobbies are now a kind of predominant activities which have been playing a pivotal role in children’s' life from later till now in the modern days. Some people believes that parent should abundant children from playing computer games which causes them to waste their time. However, others disagree. In my opinion engaging with this kind of activities lead children not to use their time in a useful manner. I feel this way for two reasons which I will explore in the following essay.
First of all, every youngster need to have some opportunity to get to be socialize with other people surrounded them. When children spend their time with their computer activities which is an individual activity, they would not find any time to get to be in touch with other peoples which cause to get to be less sociable. One of my friend experience is a good case in point. I remember one they when I had invited to one of my old friend who had one chilled who was interested in playing computer game for a long time. my friend was feeling nerves while she was swing others children whose play with each other. However, her doubter was just playing with her own. After that day I have understood that How playing computer game could effect on children’s sociability. In addition, I have learnt that never let my child to play with that kind of activities for a long time.
Second, physical activates would help children to active their brain. when you are engrossing with silence activities like computer games. your mind will become less active. Research show that most of the children’s who are more creative over the schools’ period had spent their spare time with exercise, dance, playing music and other kinds of activity which is related to movement activities which engage their children’s’ brains as well as their bodies.
In conclusion, I strongly agree that playing computer game is a great waste of time for two reasons. It not only causes children become less social persons but also leads them become lees creative.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 406, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a useful manner" with adverb for "useful"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...ies lead children not to use their time in a useful manner. I feel this way for two reasons which ...
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Line 3, column 296, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'getting'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'cause' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: getting
...in touch with other peoples which cause to get to be less sociable. One of my friend e...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 521, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: My
... playing computer game for a long time. my friend was feeling nerves while she was...
^^
Line 3, column 736, Rule ID: AFFECT_EFFECT[6]
Message: Did you mean 'affect'?
Suggestion: affect
...od that How playing computer game could effect on children's sociability. In addi...
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Line 3, column 880, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...hat kind of activities for a long time. Second, physical activates would help ch...
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Line 5, column 71, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: When
...ld help children to active their brain. when you are engrossing with silence activit...
^^^^
Line 5, column 71, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “when” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ld help children to active their brain. when you are engrossing with silence activit...
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Line 5, column 140, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Your
...silence activities like computer games. your mind will become less active. Research ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, second, so, well, while, i feel, in addition, in conclusion, kind of, as well as, first of all, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 2.0 13.8261648746 14% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 21.0 11.0286738351 190% => OK
Pronoun: 40.0 43.0788530466 93% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 52.1666666667 92% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1721.0 1977.66487455 87% => OK
No of words: 349.0 407.700716846 86% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.93123209169 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.32221490584 4.48103885553 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72095890742 2.67179642975 102% => OK
Unique words: 186.0 212.727598566 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.532951289398 0.524837075471 102% => OK
syllable_count: 524.7 618.680645161 85% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 62.8394604045 48.9658058833 128% => OK
Chars per sentence: 90.5789473684 100.406767564 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.3684210526 20.6045352989 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.36842105263 5.45110844103 135% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.5376344086 144% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.285662542401 0.236089414692 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0957966915654 0.076458572812 125% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0690087086729 0.0737576698707 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.187622184521 0.150856017488 124% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.043636075494 0.0645574589148 68% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.0 11.7677419355 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 58.1214874552 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.31 10.9000537634 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.52 8.01818996416 94% => OK
difficult_words: 66.0 86.8835125448 76% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.