Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past.
The effects of the inevitable growth of technology on different aspects of the children’s life – education, cognitive development, and behavior to name but a handful, has been the subject of considerable debate for a long time. Although it is impossible to deprive the kids from new technology, some people argue that their access to devices like smartphones and tablets should be reduced to minimum since it interferes with the development of their creativity. I, personally, oppose this idea and believe that not only these devices do not affect the children’s creativity negatively, but also, if used properly, they can enhance this vital ability of the kids. My reasons for this claim are manifold, three of which are widely discussed hereunder.
First of all, despite the fact that computer games are considered by some people less creative comparing to real-life games like hide-and-seek, I assert that appropriate computer games have been developed that require the player to show a great deal of creativity. Unlike some simple decision-making games in which mere being fast helps the player to succeed, these new games demand him or her to create new ideas to solve a puzzle or lead a fancy business, thereby influencing his or her creativity in a positive way.
In addition, technology has familiarized the children to concepts that were once restricted to more educated people. For example, there are tools that help children learn programming by creating simple games. There is also software for children to mix films and create music. These applications will enhance their creativity by introducing them to a world of new ideas.
Last but not least, parents not familiar with high-tech devices are unaware of the variety of tasks that can be done using them. While a mother passing by her kid’s room may complain that he or she is playing with the tablet all along the day, the kid might be doing different tasks; e.g. drawing a picture, solving a riddle, and reading a story; during the day. This wide variety of activities can help child’s cognition to grow in different aspects. Thanks to technology, these constructive activities can be achieved with a few taps of the finger.
To sum up, with all this taken into account, I assert that technology will help children become more creative for it provides them with games encouraging them to create brand new ideas, familiarizes them with concepts like art in which thinking out of the box is a merit, and provides them with various tasks that prevents them from becoming single-minded.
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Comments
Thank you for your
Thank you for your advice.
Just two questions:
First, I tried to correct the "not only, but also". Is this sentence correct:
These devices do not affect the children’s creativity negatively. Rather, if used properly, they can enhance this vital ability of the kids.
Second, why is "will help children become more creative 'for' it provides them with games" wrong?
1. If you put 'not only' at
1. If you put 'not only' at the beginning of a sentence, you need inversion.
2. after 'for', you can't put a sentence.
I meant to use "for" as a
I meant to use "for" as a conjunction. Is it okay if I put a comma before it?
Like this:
"... will help children become more creative, for it provides them with games ..."
no, it is not related to
no, it is not related to comma. See,
for + it provides them with games
'it provides them with games' is a compete sentence.
You can only put words/phrase after 'for': for this reason/purpose/condition....
The effects of the inevitable growth of technology on different aspects of the children’s life – education, cognitive development, and behavior to name but a handful, has been the subject of considerable debate
The effects ... have been the subject of considerable debate
not only these devices do not affect the children’s creativity negatively, but also, if used properly, they can enhance this vital ability of the kids.
Description: 'Not only...but also' is not used properly. don't use 'not only..not...'. You can use 'neither...nor' or 'either...or'. can you re-write this sentence?
appropriate computer games have been developed that require the player to show a great deal of creativity.
appropriate computer games have been developed and require the players to show a great deal of creativity.
While a mother passing by her kid’s room may complain that he or she is playing with the tablet
Description: 'he or she' refers to what? Be sensitive to use pronouns.
will help children become more creative for it provides them with games
will help children become more creative because it provides them with games
various tasks that prevents them from becoming single-minded.
various tasks that prevent them from becoming single-minded.
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
Sentence Length SD: 14.692 7.5 //it means sentences are not developed smoothly
Be sensitive to use pronouns like 'them, they'. Make sure they refer something correctly.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 422 350
No. of Characters: 2081 1500
No. of Different Words: 229 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.532 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.931 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.702 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 141 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 112 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 77 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.133 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.692 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.309 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.586 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.118 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5