Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Young people should choose a job that is similar to what parents did.
As some people may hold the view that the pursuing the parent's occupation is better than the trying new one; however, some others may take an opposite viewpoint and believe that the young people should choose the different jobs from their fathers'. I personally agree with the second option. In the following paragraphs, I will delve into the most outstanding reasons which persuade me to put forward this perspective.
The first exquisite reason which advocates my idea is that the offspring possess various attitudes in the compere with their parents; in addition, it is lucidly obvious that an appropriate carrier should be opted in the sake of the attitudes and abilities. Thus, if the parents' jobs do not fit with the children's capabilities and features, they will not have the opportunity to become the successful businessmen. A vivid example can be given to shed light on the subject is my brother’s example. He is very talented in the mathematics and his main desire is to become an engineer. However, my father forced him to continue his carrier based upon my father's job. Consequently, he faced a lot of financial crisis.
The second reason is the chance of the independency experience. As the young people work with their father in the same environment, they own their parents' supports in all condition. As a matter of facts, their fathers' parental cares force them to advocate their unsophisticated and naive children in all aspect of his job and its duties. In this scenario, the young people do not have the opportunity of the self-independency. Thus, they will not have the chance to face real difficulties and enhance their experiences and knowledge and become the mature businessmen.
The last reason which confirms the accuracy of my perspective is that the demand of the society for jobs changes during the time. According to the noteworthy intelligible research in my country, in all new-developed countries the requirement for new carrier alters in each thirty years. Hence, based upon this estimation, the social needs for novel occupation emerge in each generation; indeed, if a job is profitable in last thirty years ago, there will be no guarantees for its success in the next thirty years.
To wrap it up, all aforementioned reasons and examples lead to conclusion that the young individuals don not have to pursue their fathers' tasks. There some reasons such as the different attitude, lake of the self-independency, and the various job requirements in the life which adhere the truth of my idea.
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2018-09-04 | daisenryaku | 80 | view |
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better than the trying new one;
better than trying new one;
better than the trying of new one;
Sentence: The second reason is the chance of the independency experience.
Error: independency Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: In this scenario, the young people do not have the opportunity of the self-independency.
Error: self-independency Suggestion: self independence
Sentence: According to the noteworthy intelligible research in my country, in all new-developed countries the requirement for new carrier alters in each thirty years.
Error: new-developed Suggestion: new developed
Sentence: There some reasons such as the different attitude, lake of the self-independency, and the various job requirements in the life which adhere the truth of my idea.
Error: self-independency Suggestion: self independence
flaws:
Why only for businessman?
No. of Words: 419 while No. of Different Words: 217
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 419 350
No. of Characters: 2062 1500
No. of Different Words: 217 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.524 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.921 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.854 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 144 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 103 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 73 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 53 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.053 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.071 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.526 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.291 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.521 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.08 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5