Do you agree or disagree: some people think that younger children should be taken care of by the other children in a family; others think that younger children should be taken care of by their parents or other adults in their family. What is your opinion and why?
It is no doubt that the children, past or present, should be taken care of when they are independent so that they could develop healthily; They should be taught about diet, garment and behavior. Therefore, when it comes to the issue that who can take care of the children better, some people argue that children should be taken care of by other children in a family, while other people hold the view that younger children should be taken care of by parents or other adults in their family. As for me, I prefer to the former one.
Initially, the parents or other adult have enough experiences and ability to take good care of children. After all, parents have already experienced the stage of child, causing rich experiences and comprehension. In the other hand, parents must have the ability to tend the children such as cooking meal, doing the laundry as well as tutoring their study. Just imagine, when parents can do the things above, the children will be taken care of well and thrive. They may have enough nutrition, healthy lifestyle and even a good grade. Cause the parents know how to teach children in a scientific way, the children may be cultivated in a right direction. For example, Kunyu, a friend of mine, was admitted to the Qinghua university last summer due to the good care and education of his parents in his childhood. In that period, his parents who were well-educated and full of knowledge about parenting took good care of him, setting up the right concept and direction. So he had the achievement like this.
In the other hand, if other children in the family take care of the younger children, they may make the conflict with the younger children due to the psychological immaturity. Obviously, either the children or the younger children in the family are not physically and psychologically mature. They always only know their own desire rather than consider the thoughts of others. In this way, argument and even fight may occur which may be detrimental for their growth. For example, my younger brother always compete with me to eat or play something when our parents are absent. However, once our parents come back, we may not argue with each other.
Admittedly, care of parents is not without disadvantage. Sometimes they may be busy for work causing less lime for taking care of the children. Children have to take care of themselves independently. However, if we consider this way more carefully, we may find a solution of that. In this case, we can select one of our parents looking after the children, and the others could work so as to make a living for whole family. Then, what will happen? The caregiver may have enough time and energy to take care of their children. They may study how to tend children well from several sources such as book and internet, which may lead the children to thrive healthily.
Based on above discussion and debate, we can draw the conclusion that younger children should be taken care of by parents, not only because parents possess more experiences and ability, but also other children in family may conflict with the younger children due to the immaturity.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...As for me, I prefer to the former one. Initially, the parents or other adult ha...
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Message: Consider replacing "in a scientific way" with adverb for "scientific"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
... the parents know how to teach children in a scientific way, the children may be cultivated in a ri...
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
.... So he had the achievement like this. In the other hand, if other children in ...
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ack, we may not argue with each other. Admittedly, care of parents is not witho...
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Line 4, column 385, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
...the children, and the others could work so as to make a living for whole family. Then, w...
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...lead the children to thrive healthily. Based on above discussion and debate, we...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, look, may, so, then, therefore, well, while, after all, as for, as to, for example, no doubt, such as, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 26.0 9.8082437276 265% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 21.0 13.8261648746 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.0286738351 145% => OK
Pronoun: 46.0 43.0788530466 107% => OK
Preposition: 67.0 52.1666666667 128% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2590.0 1977.66487455 131% => OK
No of words: 540.0 407.700716846 132% => OK
Chars per words: 4.7962962963 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.82057051367 4.48103885553 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.54377046441 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 238.0 212.727598566 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.440740740741 0.524837075471 84% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 802.8 618.680645161 130% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 20.6003584229 131% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 64.3457950787 48.9658058833 131% => OK
Chars per sentence: 95.9259259259 100.406767564 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.0 20.6045352989 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.07407407407 5.45110844103 93% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 20.0 11.8709677419 168% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.491921591095 0.236089414692 208% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.140257428674 0.076458572812 183% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.138119469269 0.0737576698707 187% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.342495717012 0.150856017488 227% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.106603772885 0.0645574589148 165% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.2 11.7677419355 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.56 10.9000537634 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.17 8.01818996416 89% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 86.8835125448 100% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 10.002688172 130% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.