Elementary School intends to extend the science time for children aged 5-11, reduce music and art time, ask for consent? What is your opinion? Do you agree or disagree?
Since the dawn of civilization, education has played a prevailing role in nurturing children to have a profound impact on their future community. It is established beyond doubt well-rounded elementary education’s system has paramount importance on creating children characteristics. The inevitable question that has always caused a heated debate among experts is to how to elevate the quality of educations in various aspects, except academic issues. The merits and demerits of each element of this subject have been pointed out. Although some people are leading the proponent toward increasing the science’s schedule against art classes for elementary school, I contend that replacing music and art times by science has some adverse repercussions on children’s traits. The two following reasons will cogently substantiate my perspective about this issue:
The first exquisite point should be mentioned is that other types of classes instead of the science class have lots of benefits for children. It is widely accepted that the art classes involve physical instruments which the students apply them to practice and learn about the issues that would be taught by the instructor. This situation can provide them an opportunity to boost their personal and mental skills and enhance their reasoning thinking through different subjects. To shed the light on this issue, a noteworthy study carried out by specialist has revealed those children expose to different kinds of arts in their earlier ages have creative thinking comparison to kids who are not using a specific field of art.
Another equally noteworthy point in corroborating my stance is that the more children are exposing to various aspects, the more they enable to follow up their interests and much earlier gain the sense of satisfaction in their future life. No one can cast a shadow of a doubt that there would be possible that the amount of kids in elementary school don’t incline to the science fields and have wide interests in the art fields. The one well-defined education systems try to provide a productive environment for their students to seek their ambitions and based on their own aptitudes brush up their skills and earn a sense of achievement. For instance, take a personal experience on this issue, when I was going to elementary schools one of my friends was so talented at playing traditional musical instruments. There was no gloomy prediction that if he could follow the music field he would able to be a viable composer. Unfortunately, since our school wasn’t rendered music classes he couldn’t focus on his interest and his life’s path abandoned from art and music fields.
To sum up, according to the pros and cons of each element, the primary schools not only should not reduce the time of art and analogous classes but also should provide a balanced schedule for science and these kinds of classes. Such schedules maintain a productive environment for children to be more erudite people for their community in the near future. It is highly recommended to benchmark multi-functional education systems based on having both science and art classes to nurture more erudite people for society.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 370, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'recommended benchmarking'.
Suggestion: recommended benchmarking
...munity in the near future. It is highly recommended to benchmark multi-functional education systems base...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, so, well, for instance, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 44.0 43.0788530466 102% => OK
Preposition: 74.0 52.1666666667 142% => OK
Nominalization: 24.0 8.0752688172 297% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2702.0 1977.66487455 137% => OK
No of words: 513.0 407.700716846 126% => OK
Chars per words: 5.26705653021 4.8611393121 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.75914943092 4.48103885553 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.95402108196 2.67179642975 111% => OK
Unique words: 274.0 212.727598566 129% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.534113060429 0.524837075471 102% => OK
syllable_count: 837.0 618.680645161 135% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Article: 8.0 3.08781362007 259% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 28.0 20.1344086022 139% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 47.3504142368 48.9658058833 97% => OK
Chars per sentence: 150.111111111 100.406767564 150% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.5 20.6045352989 138% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.05555555556 5.45110844103 56% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.212834533757 0.236089414692 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0683588409889 0.076458572812 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0633727927807 0.0737576698707 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.144072281044 0.150856017488 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0465892825285 0.0645574589148 72% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.6 11.7677419355 150% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 43.06 58.1214874552 74% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 10.1575268817 140% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.58 10.9000537634 125% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.3 8.01818996416 116% => OK
difficult_words: 139.0 86.8835125448 160% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 10.002688172 120% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 10.0537634409 131% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.