The extended family is less important now than it was in the past.
Controversy exists over whether the value of extended family between people. As far as I am concerned, the extended family is less important in comparison to the past because not only people do not have free time but also, the advancement of technology changed the lifestyle. In the following paragraphs, I will pinpoint my case.
The first reason worth mentioning is that members of a family (Father and mother) do not have leisure time and are too busy. In recent years, industrialization happened at a very fast pace. After that, the life of people changed a lot. People worked in environments such as societies in the past and had more spare time. However, in modern lives, most jobs position are related and dependent on the industry that is very difficult with a low income. On the other hand, the daily expenses of people have been increased abnormally and because of that, people are obliged to allocate a great amount of time to work. They do not have enough free time to spend with extended family members and prefer to spend the remaining time with their own family. Hence, people have to focus a great proportion of energy on a career that enables them to supply the need of family members. For example, a person who works in a big company and does not earn a high income from his job has to get more shifts at the company or even get another part-time job to increase his earnings to an acceptable amount. Hence, people do not have enough free time or even energy to go and visit their family members.
A furthur more subtle point is that the improvement of technology happened and changes people's behavior. It caused the emergence of the internet and smartphones. In the past, one of the people's habitats was to visit their grandparents. On the weekend, all family member gathers in a single location and engage in a group activity or group games. Family members talked about the event that happened during the week and the problems they faced. However, in the current situation, teenagers' habit has been changed. Instead of going out with friends or close families, they prefer to use new devices such as computers and cell-phone. One of the most used devices in recent years by teenagers is the mobile. It is more convenient for them since there is no need to go out. Moreover, a new trend has happened which is social media. Instead of visiting other family members such as cousins and grandparents, children prefer to socialize with friends on social media such as Instagram or Twitter. Besides that, the artificial intelligence of video games has been improved and made games more difficult and complex with higher quality. Children usually become addicted to this game since it is a great source of entertainment. For instance. when I was in high school, after finishing my study and assignment, instead of going to visit my uncle which loved me very much, my choice was to play games on my computer.
To make a long story short, based on the aforementioned arguments, the extended family does not have significance anymore due to the way people live and the development of technology.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 1233, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: When
... source of entertainment. For instance. when I was in high school, after finishing m...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, first, hence, however, if, moreover, so, as to, for example, for instance, such as, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 9.8082437276 31% => OK
Conjunction : 24.0 13.8261648746 174% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 43.0788530466 72% => OK
Preposition: 83.0 52.1666666667 159% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 8.0752688172 173% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2575.0 1977.66487455 130% => OK
No of words: 538.0 407.700716846 132% => OK
Chars per words: 4.78624535316 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.81610080973 4.48103885553 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63484671016 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 265.0 212.727598566 125% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.492565055762 0.524837075471 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 831.6 618.680645161 134% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Article: 10.0 3.08781362007 324% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 14.0 4.94265232975 283% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 20.6003584229 136% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.7597424638 48.9658058833 100% => OK
Chars per sentence: 91.9642857143 100.406767564 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.2142857143 20.6045352989 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.32142857143 5.45110844103 79% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.85842293907 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.88709677419 205% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.162906300043 0.236089414692 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0384624261809 0.076458572812 50% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0572453642069 0.0737576698707 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.124147547726 0.150856017488 82% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0767092850077 0.0645574589148 119% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.7 11.7677419355 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.5 10.9000537634 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.28 8.01818996416 103% => OK
difficult_words: 126.0 86.8835125448 145% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.