Games are as important for adults as they are for children.

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Games are as important for adults as they are for children.

In today's hectic life it is an astonishing fact that people from all walks of life differ greatly in their attitudes towards this phenomenon. We find that some people hold the great idea about game for adults, on the other hand others may have an opposite idea. From my perspective I would side with the former. So as Hollywood celebrities say:"Let's cut to the chase."

Taking the proposed subject into account the reason which may shed some light on my point is that game can fortifies our values, enhance our skills and broaden our horizons. It goes without saying that "more game" will cause "more improve in our health." This significantly lies in the fact that people can absorb more energy and more oxygen for their bodies and specially their brains that makes them physically and mentally alert during life. As a corollary, game can enriched their lives and made it more interesting.

Another rationale of why I take positive idea about the game is related to achieving more success in carrier. It is absolutely certain that without a dream in your career, you would be searching in darkness without a torch to light the way for you. In fact, game is a good way find out our dreams and it ushered out species one giant step closer peak of promotion. On the whole, game brought us more boon than bane.

Nevertheless, the two paragraphs in the body should not be over generalized. Just as an old adage goes: "a coin has two sides", those who take the other side are partially reasonable every once in a while. That is, there might be a situation in which some believe that game is not proper for adults' prestige. In fact, game is related to youngsters that should not be done in adulthood.

To put it in a nutshell, in light of the previously discussed reasons the viewpoint of those who believe game is not proper for adults' prestige is accepted occasionally, though game prohibition for old people is too special and fairly rare that should not be taken as a general rule. Indeed, more health body and success in career are prime factors to my propensity to choose game pro for adults. If I have a chance to decision making, I do not have a bit of hesitation to prescribe game for any age.

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2018-06-24 bilguun 60 view
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Sentence: Taking the proposed subject into account the reason which may shed some light on my point is that game can fortifies our values, enhance our skills and broaden our horizons.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to can and fortifies

more improve in our health
more improvement in our health

specially their brains that makes them physically and mentally alert
specially their brains that make them physically and mentally alert

game can enriched their lives
game can enrich their lives

Sentence: In fact, game is a good way find out our dreams and it ushered out species one giant step closer peak of promotion.
Description: The fragment way find out is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace find with verb, past tense

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2

There is a pattern inside the essay which may not be liked by examiners.

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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 394 350
No. of Characters: 1759 1500
No. of Different Words: 212 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.455 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.464 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.385 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 112 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 72 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 45 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.737 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.508 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.474 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.309 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.539 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.107 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5