Groups or organizations are an important part of some people’s lives. Why are groups or organizations important to people? Use specific
reasons and examples to explain your answer.
An Iranian proverb says that no one can produce any voice using only one hand. The major topic I will address in this essay is answering to this question that why people attach a great deal of importance to groups or organizations. There may be a large number of reasons for creation of groups, that some of them are as following: first, sometimes persons want to complain about a difficulty, second, for better doing of a specific activity, and finally, for making new friendship relations. I will elaborate upon all of these reasons in the next paragraphs.
First and foremost, it may happen for any individual that face with an inconvenience situation thanks to the injustice behavior of a few persons such as a boss, a supervisor or even a president to name but only a handful. In such situations, it is evident that complaining of only one person not only does not lead to any consequence, but also results in some harms to the person himself. Therefore, it would be wise to perform the complaining activity as groups of people that all the members suffer from the same situation.
The second reason that should be taken into consideration is that, often many people gather together in order to do some activities that when they do them personally, it does not lead to fast and qualified result. By way of illustration, students usually make study groups to review all their study material together and every one gives his or her opinion about the problems. A s a consequence, they will learn better and faster. In addition the knowledge gained in this manner will be transfered to the long term memory, therefore, they can remember them any time they want rapidly.
Last but not least, if you take a look at some public places for example parks you will noticed that many adults gather together and speak about many subjects including their health situations, their past, their family and so on. Many people may think that this small and sometimes large groups do not have any importance. However, this activity help them to become comfortable and feel relax when they are near the same age individuals. As a matter of fact, all of them usually have the similar condition, and that is why this, help them to have mental health.
All in all, taking thoroughly all the above mentioned reasons into account, this conclusion can be drawn that every group activity has a special purpose and all groups and organization are created voluntary to help individuals to reach their goals in a constructive, safe, and rapid manner.
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it may happen for any individual that face with an inconvenience situation
it may happen for any individual who faces with an inconvenience situation
not only does not lead to any consequence, but also results in some harms to the person himself
Description: don't use 'not only..not...'. You can use 'neither...nor' or 'either...or'
this activity help them
this activity helps them
it would be wise to perform the complaining activity as groups of people that all the members suffer from the same situation.
it would be wise to perform the complaining activity as groups of people who suffer from the same situations.
Sentence: Last but not least, if you take a look at some public places for example parks you will noticed that many adults gather together and speak about many subjects including their health situations, their past, their family and so on.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to will and noticed
Sentence: In addition the knowledge gained in this manner will be transfered to the long term memory, therefore, they can remember them any time they want rapidly.
Error: transfered Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 436 350
No. of Characters: 2041 1500
No. of Different Words: 229 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.57 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.681 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.54 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 135 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 92 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 64 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 45 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.25 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.099 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.562 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.305 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.552 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.128 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5