A high school that normally gives students about two months of time off from school during the summer is introducing a new educational requirement for students in eleventh grade (ages 16-17) over the summer, students have the following two options to fulfill the new requirement. – They can attend classes each day for several weeks to complete a university level course on a subject that they are considering selecting as their major field of study at university. – They can spend several weeks traveling to museums and historic places in their area with a group of students guided by a teacher and then write a paper of their experience. Which one of these options do you think would be most beneficial for students and why?
In the modern era, a student has played a prominent role in all societies. Because it is of paramount importance, researchers have always searched ways for enhancing the educational systems. A school presents two approaches for students that they spend a summer vacation in the best ways. First, students study some courses that relate to their field at a university. Second, students go on a long trip with their friends, and they visit museums and historic places. I content that the second solution is better than the first option. In the following paragraphs, I will delve into the most outstanding reasons.
The first important factor to be mention is that the summertime is adequate time for a student to resting. To shed more light on this matter, students spend 9 months at school, approximately. They need some time for resting and refreshing their mind that it becomes ready for new studying years, and they will become a prosperous person at a university. A a result, when students go long travelling, they would rest and refresh their mind. Also, they have opportunities to see sightseen places such as museums and historic places. In this situation, students have indulged by participation in this travel. Students not only have able to refresh their mind but also would learn many things from a museum and historic places.
Another reason which deserves some words here is that students learn a social skill when they participated in a long trip. To shed more light on this matter, since student travels for a long time, they had to live with each other. Living in a group people have several positive points. First, students learn how to better connect with each other in this place. In this situation, they try to respect each other, and it helps them become a flourishing person in future. Second, they learn how to defend their idea, and tolerate an against idea. Students can only learn this skill in a group of people that they connect face to face with them. Besides, they must learn how to live in a dormitory, when they will entire to a university. Hence, this travel helps them for living in a dormitory.
All in all, considering all the aforementioned reason lead us to the conclusion that going a long trip has better effects on students that taking some university course in summer vacation. I believe that students by participating in a group trip, not only can refresh their mind but also can learn much social skill which they will need them in future.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 9, column 54, Rule ID: SUMMER_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'summer'.
Suggestion: summer
...ortant factor to be mention is that the summertime is adequate time for a student to resti...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 355, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: A
...me a prosperous person at a university. A a result, when students go long travellin...
^^^
Line 9, column 355, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'An' instead of 'A' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: An
...me a prosperous person at a university. A a result, when students go long travell...
^
Line 9, column 355, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'A' or 'a' is left.
Suggestion: A; A
...me a prosperous person at a university. A a result, when students go long travellin...
^^^
Line 17, column 459, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
... helps them become a flourishing person in future. Second, they learn how to defend their...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 25, column 343, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
... social skill which they will need them in future.
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, first, hence, second, so, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 15.1003584229 40% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.0286738351 136% => OK
Pronoun: 50.0 43.0788530466 116% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 52.1666666667 102% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2093.0 1977.66487455 106% => OK
No of words: 426.0 407.700716846 104% => OK
Chars per words: 4.91314553991 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.54310108192 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.59759789477 2.67179642975 97% => OK
Unique words: 201.0 212.727598566 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.471830985915 0.524837075471 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 614.7 618.680645161 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 20.6003584229 121% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 32.2948912369 48.9658058833 66% => OK
Chars per sentence: 83.72 100.406767564 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.04 20.6045352989 83% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.12 5.45110844103 39% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.88709677419 184% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.21472816115 0.236089414692 91% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0712593336744 0.076458572812 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.058130466109 0.0737576698707 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.15122880322 0.150856017488 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0682217339388 0.0645574589148 106% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.2 11.7677419355 87% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 71.14 58.1214874552 122% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.6 10.1575268817 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.9 10.9000537634 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.56 8.01818996416 94% => OK
difficult_words: 83.0 86.8835125448 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.