A high school requires their students (aged 16-17) to choose an activity to attend in the summer vacation when they turn from 11th grade to 12th grade. Which of the following do you think is more beneficial
1. taking part in the university-level course(for example, the course related to the major field they want to study in)
2. visiting museums and historic places with teachers and other students and then write a paper about it.
Speaking to beneficial activities for students, the opinions vary from one to another. Some people may regard that it is better to visit museum and historic places. In my opinion, It is taking part in the university-level course during summer vacation that will be more beneficial for a 12th grade student.
To begin with, we have heard many cases that university students felt the school was not helpful with their career path, thus they lose motivation very quickly. However, It is possible they weren't interested in that field of study. Allowing students to take part in university-level course in advance will help them understand what they wish to major. After the course, students can use the rest one year in high school to reach out to different sources to know more about the field and prepare themselves for the challenges. Or, in other case, during the summer vacation course, students may find the field doesn’t meet their expectation, then they can use the one year in the high school to learn about other fields to make a better decision before entering school. With this course, students can reduce the possibility of wasting time on something they don't like.
So, what about visiting museums and historic places? Well, of course visiting these places can broaden our vision. Yet, it is not that influential and beneficial as taking part in the university-level course for students at their stage of turning to 12th grade. There is no big difference in terms of when to visit museums and historic places. We won't say visiting these places at age 16 is better than age 18, for example. Moreover, mostly students don’t really see visiting museums as a chance for leaning, instead, these activities are more like an entertainment during summer vacation. Therefore, its benefits are not as influential as taking college preparation course as to the educational level.
All in all, shedding light on what university courses is like beforehand helps high school students to find their direction. Its importance is way beyond other activities.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
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Suggestion:
...e beneficial for a 12th grade student. To begin with, we have heard many cases ...
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Suggestion: weren't
...y quickly. However, It is possible they werent interested in that field of study. Allo...
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Suggestion: don't
...ility of wasting time on something they dont like. So, what about visiting museu...
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Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
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...ting time on something they dont like. So, what about visiting museums and hist...
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...on course as to the educational level. All in all, shedding light on what unive...
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...ortance is way beyond other activities.
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
however, if, may, moreover, really, so, then, therefore, thus, well, as to, for example, of course, in my opinion, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 13.8261648746 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 30.0 43.0788530466 70% => OK
Preposition: 52.0 52.1666666667 100% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.0752688172 136% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1736.0 1977.66487455 88% => OK
No of words: 340.0 407.700716846 83% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.10588235294 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.29407602571 4.48103885553 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74394426033 2.67179642975 103% => OK
Unique words: 184.0 212.727598566 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.541176470588 0.524837075471 103% => OK
syllable_count: 531.9 618.680645161 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.5350691092 48.9658058833 103% => OK
Chars per sentence: 96.4444444444 100.406767564 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.8888888889 20.6045352989 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.11111111111 5.45110844103 130% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.340753280048 0.236089414692 144% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.101431131671 0.076458572812 133% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0984420166646 0.0737576698707 133% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.199596837834 0.150856017488 132% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0545311313721 0.0645574589148 84% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 11.7677419355 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 58.1214874552 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.36 10.9000537634 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.5 8.01818996416 94% => OK
difficult_words: 64.0 86.8835125448 74% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.