Independent TOEFL essay - TPO 2: Agree or disagree? Always telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationship between people.
There is no doubt that in today’s immensely sophisticated world people are putting in a lot of effort into having good relationship with their friends, family members, coworkers, and especially their spouses. Honesty plays a decisive role in each of these relationships. This brings up a controversial question in every individual's mind: Are we always supposed to tell the truth in our relationships? In this regard, some people are inclined toward the fact that telling the truth is the best and most important strategy in every relationship while others hold exactly the opposite perspective and believe that relationships can be based on other aspects and telling the truth is not that much important. From my viewpoint, everybody deserves to know the truth. Furthermore, telling the truth will be profitable for us as well since it will establish a sense of mutual trust and calmness. In the following paragraphs, I will elaborate on my perspectives for supporting telling the truth all the time.
One of the reasons that immediately comes to mind is that telling the truth all the time will bring about a change in people's trust in each other. That's to say, honesty will be followed by mutual trust. Imagine a relationship between a stockbroker and its customer. If the stockbroker doesn't transmit the real information about the shares, the customer won't rely on him anymore. So the broker will lose his customers gradually and it will damage his profit. That's why paying attention to truth is very important.
The next major point to be mentioned is that telling the truth engenders calmness and peace of mind. The person who lies a lot digresses from important issues because he should remind the lies that have told to everybody. Telling a lie would be followed by another lie and the second lie followed by the third one and so forth. For example, last week, my friend lied to her husband that she and her friend had gone on a trip. Then, she had to lie about the place where they went and she has to remember it to avoid telling the truth later. Therefore, she will be worried. As a result, the person who never lies feels better and is calm.
To wrap it up, if one weighs the merits and demerits of telling lie and truth, one soon realizes that it is worth telling the truth always. In fact, mutual trust and peace of mind engendered by truth help everybody to be successful in their relationships with their family, friends, and coworkers. I hope that one day we can purge the world of lies so that everyone would tell the truth in its entirety.
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flaws:
The introduction is too long. The introduction paragraph could be one sentence like: 'I agree that Always telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationship between people.' instead, put one more reason.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 23 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 447 350
No. of Characters: 2074 1500
No. of Different Words: 223 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.598 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.64 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.589 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 130 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 95 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 65 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 44 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.435 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.5 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.652 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.291 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.445 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.138 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5