In my opinion, young children shouldn't be allowed to watch television advertisements because that would influence them drastically in a negative way even though they might seem to be able to amuse kids for a while. The effects might remain in their personality in the long term or might cause them to do some dangerous activity immediately.
First of all, most television commercials are not suitable for children and could disrupt their upbringing which their parent might plan to follow. For example, a child will be exposed and encouraged to some products which are not healthy for their body development. I remember when I was very young, and I loved watching an advertisement for a snack. It was visually intriguing, and there were other children enjoying eating those snacks. As a result, I was insisting my parents to buy them for me, whereas they kept refusing. Not only didn't I get those snacks, but also I hated my parents for not providing me with those.
Furthermore, children at these ages are so energetic and excited. Accordingly, since most advertisements are of high energy, they might stimulate children to release their potential excitement and bring about some tragedies. As a piece of evidence, when my cousin was five years old, he accidentally watched a tv commercial of a violent video game where there were players attacking each other with swords. The commercial triggered him to explore new adventures, and one day, I found him with a knife threatening the people in the family. I could understand that the source of the phenomenon was the mentioned tv advertisement because he was calling himself the name of the main character of the video game.
With all being said, children, particularly young ones, are vulnerable to the exposure to the visually attracting scenes because they don't have the power to distinguish the differences between the virtual world and the real one. Television advertisements are one of the most notable examples of these scenes that can significantly create physical or mental damages to the children.
- TPO 9 - Integrated essay 3
- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement It is better to have broad knowledge of many academic subjects than to specialize in one specific subject 83
- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People benefit more from traveling in their own country than from traveling to foreign country. 86
- Life today is easier and more comfortable than it was when our grandparents were children. 76
- Independent TOEFL essay - TPO 8: Agree or disagree? Television advertising directed towards young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed 90
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 31, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: shouldn't
In my opinion, young children shouldnt be allowed to watch television advertis...
^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 132, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a negative way" with adverb for "negative"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...e that would influence them drastically in a negative way even though they might seem to be able ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 538, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...e, whereas they kept refusing. Not only didnt I get those snacks, but also I hated my...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 135, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...visually attracting scenes because they dont have the power to distinguish the diffe...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, also, but, first, furthermore, if, so, whereas, while, for example, as a result, first of all, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 40.0 43.0788530466 93% => OK
Preposition: 35.0 52.1666666667 67% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1727.0 1977.66487455 87% => OK
No of words: 340.0 407.700716846 83% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.07941176471 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.29407602571 4.48103885553 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.92269931404 2.67179642975 109% => OK
Unique words: 199.0 212.727598566 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.585294117647 0.524837075471 112% => OK
syllable_count: 539.1 618.680645161 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.6003584229 73% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 47.014891258 48.9658058833 96% => OK
Chars per sentence: 115.133333333 100.406767564 115% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.6666666667 20.6045352989 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.06666666667 5.45110844103 148% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 11.8709677419 42% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 3.85842293907 207% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.149046595135 0.236089414692 63% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0510932380997 0.076458572812 67% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.04822346796 0.0737576698707 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0974098337855 0.150856017488 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0281466822881 0.0645574589148 44% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.8 11.7677419355 117% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 58.1214874552 85% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 10.1575268817 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.48 10.9000537634 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.49 8.01818996416 106% => OK
difficult_words: 81.0 86.8835125448 93% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 10.002688172 150% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.