Is it more important to be able to work with a group of people on a team or to work independently? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.
Everyone will answer to this question from his/her own characters, emotional concerns or personal experience. It is really difficult to determine which of the two abilities is more important because normally working in a group demands perfect potential in independent works. However, I claim that working in group is more important and I can present the following points to defense my idea.
First, big variety of talents is convenient in the groups. Nowadays in the big companies huge amount of works need to be done together and it is impossible for one person to afford this on his/her own, which leads to demanding a well organized group to do this works. For example, I started a computer company to fix and sell computer to customers, besides installing the software. Needing to a professional computer fixer and programmer, I had to employ my friend John and his group to use from their abilities. As you can see, a group will provide more useful abilities than one person does.
Second, a good leader in a group can motivate members to go further. I will explain my point with my own story in the computer factory when we were competing with our competitors in the market. Our brand was new in comparison to others, resulting to less customers and making money, so we had to try harder in order to meet our targets. Inspiring the employees and members in my group, I could increase our sells and customers and we could achieved our purpose bringing us a lot of profit. This experience taught me that being able to work in a group can more useful than working alone because I couldn't do that on my own.
I don't deny that working alone is essential, but taking all the factors into account, I can reach the conclusion that being able to work in a group is a little better than working independently for above reasons. I suggest you to join a group at least once, then you will be notice about what I am saying.
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Sentence: Inspiring the employees and members in my group, I could increase our sells and customers and we could achieved our purpose bringing us a lot of profit.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to could and achieved
I suggest you to join a group at least once, then you will be notice about what I am saying.
I suggest you to join a group at least once, and then you will notice about what I am saying.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 25 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 345 350
No. of Characters: 1541 1500
No. of Different Words: 187 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.31 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.467 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.556 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 107 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 81 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 50 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.254 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.362 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.552 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.2 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5