One of the best ways parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part time job.
Agree or disagree?
Parents have an indispensable role in child life because they are able to make children socially, emotionally and financially based on norms in society. There has been on ongoing debate as to whether recommending children to make a part time job is a rational advice or not. While some people believe that adult should encourage children to take a part time job for future life, there are others holding the opposes idea on this point. As far as from my perspective, taking a part time job make a good foundation for establishing future life in that children have an opportunity for debuting independent lifestyle, also they make a closer relationship with parents than past.
The fisrt reason, which should be maintained here is that children have golden opportunity for practicing their independency in social and financial regards. As a matter of fact, kids get a hoard of money by taking a part time job. Financial independent is a crucial key for making charecter in order to participate in society. Therefore, they make a well social status for living beside others. Furthermore, child makes a platform to get new skills because he or she should learn points for taking a job in the future. It is argued that children plant a tree for future life for benefiting from it shadow in sunny days since they arise likelihood of getting job in the future life. Thus, children may put their ability on practice, and it is so valuable because most of the compenies are willing to hire experienced employees.
Another factor, which deserves to be considered is that children cement that relationship with their parents. In that case, children have not only mutual understanding but also strong intimacy with their parents. When they start new part time job, they should spend little time with family members: hence, children become allure enough to spend more time beside them since importance of something is realized in its absence. This condition is so fascinating for enjoying from family time. Additionally being independent deos not mean cutting up all familial bonds and contacts. Children always need a new condition for correcting their personal, academic and occupation mistakes. Parents by encouraging children to take a part time job, make them more strong due to counsulte with their parents.
To put everything in a nutshell, parents should encourage their own child in smart ways like taking a part time job instead of pressurizing reasoning that work is worship.
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- TPO 33, integrated 60
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There has been on ongoing debate
There has been an ongoing debate
taking a part time job make a good foundation
taking a part time job makes a good foundation
children become allure enough
children become allured enough
Parents by encouraging children to take a part time job, make them more strong due to counsulte with their parents.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?
instead of pressurizing reasoning that work is worship.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?
Sentence: Another factor, which deserves to be considered is that children cement that relationship with their parents.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to children and cement
Sentence: The fisrt reason, which should be maintained here is that children have golden opportunity for practicing their independency in social and financial regards.
Error: independency Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: fisrt Suggestion: first
Sentence: Financial independent is a crucial key for making charecter in order to participate in society.
Error: charecter Suggestion: character
Sentence: Thus, children may put their ability on practice, and it is so valuable because most of the compenies are willing to hire experienced employees.
Error: compenies Suggestion: companies
Sentence: Parents by encouraging children to take a part time job, make them more strong due to counsulte with their parents.
Error: counsulte Suggestion: consult
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Words: 410 while No. of Different Words: 215
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 410 350
No. of Characters: 2025 1500
No. of Different Words: 215 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.5 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.939 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.699 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 148 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 102 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 74 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 46 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.579 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.863 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.474 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.332 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.491 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.116 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5