People do many different things to stay healthy. What do you do for good health? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer
Nowadays, life is hard; therefore people must maximize their works, studying and they almost forget their health. However, staying healthy is more important than earning money to support for life. When people have good health, they will have chance to earn more money, which leads to have some several ways to keep healthy such as having a balanced diet, a routine of doing exercise and positive mind.
First of all, what people eat everyday is very important for health, that why they cannot eat what they suppose to without a hardy diet. And what is exactly healthy diet? It is menu with the logical nutrition that depends on the condition of each body. If people cannot control their diet menu, it might be very dangerous. This is because humans’ body is complicated, it has limitation of feeding, when someone tries to reach over the border, it will lead to many serious causes. For instance, my uncle has high cholesterol, but he does not have a good diet menu, he eats foods, which contain fat, for a while he will have heart attack and his brain can cause a stroke.
Additionally, people do not only just do exercise but also they should have a clearly routine to keep healthy. They often said that they had had a hardworking day; they had done much, so they must not do any exercise. They might have very serious mistake. Doing exercise is totally different from working. Doing exercise is excellent for heath, and it even more than that, if people have frankly routine. People must not do it everyday, at least 2 or 3 times a week, but it must be an activity that repeats frequently. For instance, my dad works really hard each day, but he still spends 30 minutes a day for walking in the park, he is now healthier and more comfortable.
People must have both healthy body and healthy mind. They should better have a positive thinking to relax their mind. People, nowadays, often handle with a ton of work, they are stress and under high pressure.People cannot be strong unless they are unhappy or too stressful. They should practice to let themselves relax with positive thinking. When they are in hard situation, they had better try to breath and think about the better things would happen to keep them calm. For instance, while I was studying I had to listen to the noise, I lost temper, got stress and I often felt very tired, then I tried to keep calm by thinking about my better future, finally I almost released the pressure and did not feel unhealthy anymore.
In conclusion, health is important with everybody. Therefore, staying healthy is very necessary and not difficult, people need to have balanced diet, routine of doing exercise and positive feeling. The healthier people try to keep, the happier they are.
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flaws:
Don't put several sentences together with comma ',' like:
staying healthy is more important than earning money to support for life, people have good health, they will have chance to earn more money,
correct:
Staying healthy is more important than earning money to support for life. People have good health. They will have chance to earn more money.
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Try this pattern:
Para 1: introduction. my choice: A or B. agree or disagree.
Para 2: First,reason 1 (1 sentence) + why reason 1(some arguments. 2-3 sentences) + examples for reason 1 (around 2 sentences) + small conclusions (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1, 1-2 sentences).
Para 3: Second,reason 2 ,blabla... do the same thing like First
Para 4: Third, reason 3 blabla... do the same thing like First but shorter
Para 5: Conclusion.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 18 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 28 15
No. of Words: 569 350
No. of Characters: 2509 1500
No. of Different Words: 258 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.884 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.409 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.176 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 162 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 107 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 28 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.321 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.104 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.607 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.273 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.441 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.079 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5