Question Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports Others believe that it is best to use that time doing things together that are rela

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Question :Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Others believe that it is best to use that time doing things together that are related to schoolwork. Which of the two approaches do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

In today's modern world, everyone is in a hurry. People spend a lot of time on their jobs to provide for their families. They are so busy working that they forget their family needs them in person. Not only do children need financial support, but they also need emotional support. Although some people may believe that helping kids with their school work is a good idea to spend time with them, I think playing is a better idea. I have two reasons for my assumption, which I will explain in the following paragraphs.
First, playing or doing sport together is much more enjoyable than studying together. Parents can show their love and support for their children by providing a happy and suitable time for them. Their presence should resemble happiness and good feeling. If parents want to spend their limited time with kids studying or doing school projects, children will get bored, and if this routine continues, kids will eventually run from them. My dad was always busy with his job when I was a child. When he came home at night, he wanted to see my home works and help me with them. I always wanted to have fun with my dad, but we always talked about school and books. Because of that, I envied other kids who came to the playground with their parents. My father's actions caused some daddy issues for me in my adulthood.
Furthermore, students should do their school works themselves. Playing is about having fun, but school tasks are more than that. Letting kids do their Home works alone helps them to do their job and become responsible. Children whose parents helped them with their school work or did their tasks for them become sassy and will have problems in the future. They become irresponsible and expect others to be in their service. For example, about three years ago, I had a co-worker whose parents used to help him with his school task. They even did his projects. Their behavior taught him that he shouldn't bother himself by doing missions and that somebody should do his jobs for him. Every people in the workplace have hated him.
In conclusion, I think parents should be involved in kids' fun time, teach them how to do stuff by playing or playing active games, and let kids do their school work and responsibilities themselves. If they treat their child this way, he would have more chances to succeed in the future and be a good member of society.

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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 593, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: shouldn't
...ects. Their behavior taught him that he shouldnt bother himself by doing missions and th...
^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, if, may, so, for example, i think, in conclusion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 13.8261648746 145% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 73.0 43.0788530466 169% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 45.0 52.1666666667 86% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.0752688172 25% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1957.0 1977.66487455 99% => OK
No of words: 421.0 407.700716846 103% => OK
Chars per words: 4.64845605701 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52971130743 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.31983467469 2.67179642975 87% => OK
Unique words: 209.0 212.727598566 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.496437054632 0.524837075471 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 564.3 618.680645161 91% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.3 1.51630824373 86% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.6003584229 126% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 39.559407801 48.9658058833 81% => OK
Chars per sentence: 75.2692307692 100.406767564 75% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.1923076923 20.6045352989 79% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.03846153846 5.45110844103 56% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.31886566526 0.236089414692 135% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0891043443943 0.076458572812 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0593551731526 0.0737576698707 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.212389589387 0.150856017488 141% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.025237972313 0.0645574589148 39% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.6 11.7677419355 73% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 80.62 58.1214874552 139% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 6.0 10.1575268817 59% => Flesch kincaid grade is low.
coleman_liau_index: 9.39 10.9000537634 86% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.28 8.01818996416 91% => OK
difficult_words: 76.0 86.8835125448 87% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.0 10.002688172 60% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 6.0 10.247311828 59% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.