Should your government place a tax on the junk food and fatty snacks?

Essay topics:

Should your government place a tax on the junk food and fatty snacks?

Today, people prefer to buy junk foods because they assert that time is money. They neglect their health and consequences of eating fast foods like hamburger and pizza. Although some people may reject the idea of applying tax on junk foods, I firmly believe that fatty snacks can cause life-threatening diseases and we should consider them as toxins.

First of all, foods which contain saturated fat are harmful. Scientists at Harvard University conducted a survey about fast foods and they showed that there is a direct significant correlation of SLE, a life threatening autoimmune disease, with fast foods. Based on this study, people after immigration to industrial countries such as United States and England were more vulnerable to SLE compared to control group which stayed in Middle East and eastern Asia. When they investigated their lifestyles, they understood that it is due to Trans oils in fast foods. This study shows us that junk foods can endanger our lives and if government place a tax on them, people would be motivated to use healthy foods.

Moreover, government can use tax of the junk food for public health. Since the cost of hospitals and insurances are expensive, most people do not care about their health which can cause a lot of problems and costs later. If government spends this tax for prognosis of some kind of diseases like diabetes and high blood pressure, the rate of these diseases will decline tremendously. For example, two years ago, Japan placed tax on fatty snacks and spend its income for breast cancer diagnosis. It decreased the rate of breast cancer among Japanese population. So, the tax of junk food can improve public health as well.

Furthermore, the youth do not regard to family and its relationships. They enjoy to go to restaurants and spend time with their friends or be alone. This taught can destroy families’ relationships and ruin their affections. For instance, my brother used to go to McDonald with his friends while my mother cooked delicious for launch and she waited for him more than two hours. When my mother understood he was out, she got depressed. As you can see, if people have to pay tax for junk foods, they prefer to return home and spend their time with families.

To wrap up, despite some people strongly think fast foods have advantages, I advocate the attitude of applying tax on junk foods because it helps people to be healthier and if government spend its money on diagnosis of diseases, it would decline their prevalence. In addition, young people would pay attention to their families more and more.

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Comments

the youth do not regard to family
the youths do not regard to family

flaws:
1. From the topic, we can understand that the junk food and fatty snacks are harmful. So don't need to use one paragraph (the second paragraph) to prove it harmful again.

2. your topic sentences are not straight forward.

we can change the topic as: what are the advantages of government to place a tax on the junk food and fatty snacks?

1. prevent people to eat more junk food because the price will be high

2. government can use tax of the junk food for public health.

3. have positive family relationships

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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 436 350
No. of Characters: 2095 1500
No. of Different Words: 233 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.57 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.805 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.514 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 137 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 89 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 68 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 44 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.818 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.35 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.591 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.292 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.508 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.109 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5