Should your government place a tax on the junk food and fatty snacks?

Essay topics:

Should your government place a tax on the junk food and fatty snacks?

Junk foods and fatty snacks are known causing factors in obesity and related health conditions. Taxing on such issues can be an effective way to reduce their consumption. Therefore, I am a pro-taxing in this regard.

The modern life style encourages people to seek for food stuffs that can be eaten in a short amount of time. Unfortunately, the majority of foods and snacks which fulfill this desire are those with high calorie contents. They contain a considerable amount of starch and fatty acids, specially unsaturated fatty acids. Since fat is one of the main ingredient that makes foods delicious, it is not surprising to see people enjoy fatty snacks a lot and have them more than the amount that their body actually needs. Receiving a huge amount of calories besides the sedentary life style, which is the undeniable product of modernity, leads to weight gain and obesity.

Heart attack is the leading cause of death worldwide. Diabetes has affected about a quarter of whole world population. Hypertension, called as the silent death, is a highly common disease among health care seekers. Obesity is a known causative factor for all these three diseases. The economical burden of chronic disease like the above-mentioned ones on national health system is mind blowing. In addition, consequent disabilities results in lower quality of lives among the patients and hinder them from being fully active work force in the society.

Moreover, obesity deteriorates the self-image and self-esteem of the over-weighted people. Thus, depression is fairly common among the obese. They usually try to hide themselves from the others. Becoming secluded, make them less active than their normally weighted peers. To make the situation worse, extra weight limits their physical activity. Therefore, obesity may disable a part of the population from being well productive.

Considering all the downfalls of obesity, taxing the fatty snacks and junk foods is a reasonable measure to restrict the consumption of them. The added tax will be a very fine price for promoting a nation in regard to the economical status. Thus, I strongly believe that the government should tax the fatty snacks and junk foods.

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Comments

Junk foods and fatty snacks are known causing factors
Junk foods and fatty snacks are known the causing factors

one of the main ingredient
one of the main ingredients

from being fully active work force in the society.
from being the fully active work force in the society.

flaws:
Still not exactly right on the topic. You put a lot of issues caused by the junk food and fatty snacks, but there are no direct connections to taxing.

Remember TOEFL exam is for high school students who are ready for university. So don't think complicated but should be straight forward. for example, this essay, you just need to write according to the topic, something like:

1. taxing on the junk food and fatty snacks will make people think twice to buy those products.

2. taxing on the junk food and fatty snacks will lead less investment from companies.

3. Government will have less headache on health care sector because of less issues from people.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? in 30
Category: ? Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 355 350
No. of Characters: 1797 1500
No. of Different Words: 211 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.341 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.062 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.643 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 134 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 89 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 61 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.435 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.626 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.391 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.25 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.486 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.059 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5