In today's world, parents come from a place that they care a lot about the education of their children. They want the best career and social class for them and most of the time, they see education as the primary channel to this goal. Not everyone being education-material, persuading children to study has become a challenge. Some parents may even propose giving money for every high grade, a method which I find very insensitive and would not advise for so many reasons, which I will elaborate on in the following paragraphs.
first off, I personally feel that giving money for a high grade achieved by the children is a form of bribery, thus may affect their behavior adversely. A child must learn that the money is not the award for a good grade or any other good deed that done by someone, as most of the time our actions have no outer reward art all; but it is that great inner feeling of happiness caused by harvesting the fruit of trying hard and not giving up for a long time. These are important messages that such acts of some parents do not convey.
secondly, in general, parents should not pay that much attention to the outcome of their s children's effort. The endeavor for achieving a goal is more significant than the final result, as the path is more important than the destination. A student might have tried so hard, but performed poorly on an exam, due to not being quite well. If his or her parents were only to pay attention to the results, they would discourage their child. Also having only the importance of the result in mind, and only valuing that have proved to cause stress, anxiety, and some other mental problems.
To wrap it up, I think proposing money against every high grade is a terrible way of encouraging students to do better at school. First, not always in life, our good actions are answered with money, and we have to learn to appreciate them on another level. Second, the effort and the path to success is always more important the mere outcome. These are important lessons that are not taught by using this methide, thus making it a bad choice.
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- TPO 6- integrated essay 3
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: First
...rate on in the following paragraphs. first off, I personally feel that giving mone...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 249, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...a good grade or any other good deed that done by someone, as most of the time our...
^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Secondly
...acts of some parents do not convey. secondly, in general, parents should not pay tha...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 437, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...lts, they would discourage their child. Also having only the importance of the resul...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, may, second, secondly, so, thus, well, i think, in general
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 43.0788530466 81% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 52.1666666667 81% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1721.0 1977.66487455 87% => OK
No of words: 375.0 407.700716846 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.58933333333 4.8611393121 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.40055868397 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.45520797942 2.67179642975 92% => OK
Unique words: 211.0 212.727598566 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.562666666667 0.524837075471 107% => OK
syllable_count: 535.5 618.680645161 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 54.1360770997 48.9658058833 111% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.5625 100.406767564 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.4375 20.6045352989 114% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.0 5.45110844103 92% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.88709677419 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.264643147786 0.236089414692 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0770862475786 0.076458572812 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.051029282498 0.0737576698707 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.152563892601 0.150856017488 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0421555091334 0.0645574589148 65% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.9 11.7677419355 101% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 65.05 58.1214874552 112% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.64 10.9000537634 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.85 8.01818996416 98% => OK
difficult_words: 73.0 86.8835125448 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 80.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.