Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible. Other young adults prefer to live with their families for a longer time. Which of these situations do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. Be sure to use your own words. Do not use memorized examples.
Many people believe that young adults should be given independence from their parents. They cite the ability to learn maturity and think prudently. However, in my opinion, teenagers should not be given complete independence from their parents until they have settled. I feel this way for two reasons which I will explore in the following essay.
First of all, young adults should not be given complete independence from their parents because they might underestimate the amount of work that they will have to do to live without their parents. This further creates problems when they move out of the house. For example, my older brother has lived with us till the time he was in high school but when he started to go to college he moved out of the house as his college was very far from our house. So, it will be quite stressful to travel from our home. He said that he had a very difficult time to adjust than what he had imagined. In addition, he was not fond of doing house chores before he moved out so, it was very hectic for him to stay away from the home. He took the workload of his mother, who is a working housewife, for granted. Thus, it is very common in young adults to think that they are capable enough to live without their parents but in reality, it is misleading.
Second of all, I believe that young adults should not be given independence from their parents because they might adopt ill habits. My older brother is also a perfect example of this point. For instance, he abstained from ingesting any kind of drinks and hated those from smoke, but after living a year in his house without parents, led him to start doing things which he used to refrain earlier. He was so indulged in drinking that he used to bunk many of his classes in colleges just to go out with his gang to party. Moreover, it also important to be in a good and productive circle of friends and colleagues as they might persuade you to try things which are you should not do. In addition, it is also true that teenagers are not wise enough to differentiate between right and wrong. Which is why they may change their mind when they do not have someone to look after them or their decisions.
In conclusion, I feel that young adults should not exercise independence until they are above 22 years old. Because they think that they are ready to live without their parents and it is easy to fall prey to bad influences as they do not have their parents to look out.
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- TOEFL integrated writing: Endotherms 3
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, look, may, moreover, second, so, thus, for example, for instance, i feel, in addition, in conclusion, kind of, first of all, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 15.1003584229 152% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.0286738351 154% => OK
Pronoun: 77.0 43.0788530466 179% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 72.0 52.1666666667 138% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2016.0 1977.66487455 102% => OK
No of words: 449.0 407.700716846 110% => OK
Chars per words: 4.48997772829 4.8611393121 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.60321845022 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.31443735168 2.67179642975 87% => OK
Unique words: 201.0 212.727598566 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.447661469933 0.524837075471 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 614.7 618.680645161 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 18.0 9.59856630824 188% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.8513322729 48.9658058833 94% => OK
Chars per sentence: 96.0 100.406767564 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.380952381 20.6045352989 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.04761904762 5.45110844103 148% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.5376344086 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 11.8709677419 51% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 3.85842293907 233% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.257676186843 0.236089414692 109% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0890259306621 0.076458572812 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0752099897881 0.0737576698707 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.19176431553 0.150856017488 127% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.013321037298 0.0645574589148 21% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.4 11.7677419355 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 67.08 58.1214874552 115% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.76 10.9000537634 80% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.07 8.01818996416 88% => OK
difficult_words: 68.0 86.8835125448 78% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.