Students are more influenced by their friends than their parents.

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Students are more influenced by their friends than their parents.

“Be careful who your friend is since your would-be personality will be on the basis on him/her”; Mohammad the prophet of Muslim told. This comes true for explaining the importance of friends in children’s training. Although, for some, children are more influenced by parents since the first decade of their age pass through direct supervising of them, for others, friends have a more powerful dominance in forming children’s personality. By comparison, how can recognize the best perspective? For judging, in my opinion, the latter notion is superior to the former especially in current societies due to plenty of time that students pass with each other and gap between generations that shadow between children and parents.

To begin with, the seeming difference between parents and friends for children can explain by amount of time: that which for parents is much less than friends. Parents after eight or nine year-old separate from their children since friends have to stay from sun to set in school, then after coming back they have to studying all day in their rooms, and finally at some sporadic cases they prefer to spend time for entertaining in everywhere except home. “After sending my boy to school, I do not recognize him anymore; he becomes completely different than his seven year-old”; a father explains. Therefore, sending children to school makes children to spend less time with their parents and to get close to their friends.

Additionally, new generations that once was thought to characterize as a hope for before generation their separation is completely tangible nowadays. By increasing gap between parents and children, they gradually get close to their similar ages such as friends in school. A mother complains about terrible make up of her girl: “However I describe her ridiculous shameful face, she imitates again from her friends in school by their so-called fashion appearance” So, unfortunately releasing children to society is an unavoidable cause for separating children and parent’s spirits.

All in all, I contended that lots of time that children spend with their friends and a large gap between generations in current society are two main factors on which children influence by their friends. For those who dealt with such children, isn’t that what you think right?

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Be careful who your friend is since your would-be personality will be on the basis on him/her
Description: can you re-write this sentence?

new generations that once was thought to characterize as a hope for before generation their separation is completely tangible nowadays.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?

on which children influence by their friends.
on which children are influence by their friends.

Sentence: All in all, I contended that lots of time that children spend with their friends and a large gap between generations in current society are two main factors on which children influence by their friends.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to children and influence

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2

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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 23 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 374 350
No. of Characters: 1885 1500
No. of Different Words: 208 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.398 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.04 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.639 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 140 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 118 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 73 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.714 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.162 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.364 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.553 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.138 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5