three days work or five days

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three days work or five days

Controversy exists over whether employees should work three days a week for long hours or work five days for shorter hours. Whereas, some hold the opinion that three days is beneficial working for long hours, while other adhere five days a week is suitable. However, I would rather on the former point of view in that not only does employee have more time for entertainment, but also he can improve his economic condition by working in another part-time job.

The first aspect which is convincing enough to favor the former point of view is that people can take a break from unwind and undue pressure from job by working for a long time within three days. For instance, One who has a too much time after work, is able to share his time with family members to go to recreational centers like natural parks, zoo, and museum. He not only does is able to get a sense of satisfaction, but also he has too much energy for working in later days. He also could participate in other activities like sport and play an instrument like jazz and guitar to get away from hurly-burly and do some exercise energetically like doing dance.

A further aspect which is worth to be mentioned here is that work in three days for long hours provided more opportunities to get a pat time job. In fact, employee is able to increase his income from working in a part-time job after finishing his work in office, since he has about four days to work in others economic sectors. A very tangible example to illustrate this argument is a person working for three days and has a part-time job in the restaurant. Working in the restaurant will pave the way to satisfy financial needs and improves economic condition and family in particular and community in general.

All in all, taking into account all aforementioned factors we safely arrive at the conclusion that working in three days for long hours is preferable than working in five days for shorter hours because it provides more options for enjoy and it impoves our income. It is high time we stopped overlooking the fact that five days work is only way to succeed in our job.

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three days is beneficial working for long hours
working three days is beneficial for long hours

while other adhere five days a week is suitable.
while other adhere five days a week which is suitable.

He not only does is able to get a sense of satisfaction, but also he has too much energy
Description: 'Not only...but also' is not used properly. can you re-write this sentence?

more options for enjoy
more options for enjoying

five days work is only way to succeed in our job.
working five days is the only way to succeed in our job.

Sentence: All in all, taking into account all aforementioned factors we safely arrive at the conclusion that working in three days for long hours is preferable than working in five days for shorter hours because it provides more options for enjoy and it impoves our income.
Error: impoves Suggestion: improves

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2

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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 375 350
No. of Characters: 1700 1500
No. of Different Words: 185 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.401 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.533 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.466 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 102 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 77 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 45 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.846 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.949 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.615 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.422 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.611 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.248 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5