TOEFL ESSAY Do you agree or disagree with the following statement Subjects such as art music and drama should be a part of every child s basic education

Students who under classroom teaching or better still formal education are open to different fields of life that may help them in the nearest future. The prompt avert that some subjects like art, music, and drama be included in the syllabus of younger students. I strongly agree to the above statement because of three reasons.
First of all, having children study subjects such as: music and art would provide the kids with easy career choice in life. For instance, base on my experience, I was privilege to attend a school that offered subjects where music was thought. Through out my stay in that school, I had already concluded that I was going into music because, I knew that the classes I have attend had open me up to becoming more musically incline. Having, such an opportunity, has made it easier for me to make final decision to chose my career at a very tender age.

Secondly, it helps students to build sense of self confidence. For instance, the surrounding where I come from has made so much so that children are open to inferiority complex because of lack of self confidence. But, being able to attend to some classes that offers us variety of chooses in different fields, has made possible that some us having grown out of lack of self esteem to being more enlightened. And it was as a result of offering subject like drama; in it were directed and told by the teacher that we can actually attend our potentials in so far as we keep to our dreams in life. That has really been helpful and an eye opener to most of us who attend that school.

Thirdly, it has help improve our society. This because, many of us who were coming in from poor homes have fewer chance of making impact to our community. But with us offering subjects that different we learnt to build innovative ideas that has helped cave out poverty and lack of job opportunity.

To conclude, I strongly agree that students should offer subjects in different areas because of the above reasons given that it would help the society and students at the long run.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 243, Rule ID: THROUGH_OUT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'throughout'?
Suggestion: Throughout
...fered subjects where music was thought. Through out my stay in that school, I had already c...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 371, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'attended'.
Suggestion: attended
...because, I knew that the classes I have attend had open me up to becoming more musical...
^^^^^^
Line 2, column 382, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[3]
Message: Possible agreement error – use past participle here: 'opened'.
Suggestion: opened
...knew that the classes I have attend had open me up to becoming more musically inclin...
^^^^
Line 8, column 13, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ack of job opportunity. To conclude, I strongly agree that students should of...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, first, if, may, really, second, secondly, so, still, third, thirdly, for instance, such as, as a result, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 21.0 11.0286738351 190% => OK
Pronoun: 49.0 43.0788530466 114% => OK
Preposition: 60.0 52.1666666667 115% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1684.0 1977.66487455 85% => OK
No of words: 364.0 407.700716846 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.62637362637 4.8611393121 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.36792674256 4.48103885553 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.41571481309 2.67179642975 90% => OK
Unique words: 194.0 212.727598566 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.532967032967 0.524837075471 102% => OK
syllable_count: 529.2 618.680645161 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.51792114695 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.6127980259 48.9658058833 93% => OK
Chars per sentence: 105.25 100.406767564 105% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.75 20.6045352989 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.25 5.45110844103 151% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.146246344432 0.236089414692 62% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0496268909449 0.076458572812 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0520412457638 0.0737576698707 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0867514193285 0.150856017488 58% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0497548979822 0.0645574589148 77% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.8 11.7677419355 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 58.1214874552 99% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.87 10.9000537634 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.63 8.01818996416 95% => OK
difficult_words: 67.0 86.8835125448 77% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.