TOEFL essay: Why go to university?

University is no longer a fresh word to peoples nowadays. This is readily available place to explore our identity before having introduced to real world. Youngsters more tend to join a university rather than startling a job or joining army. There are few reasons behind going to the university except choosing any other option. the reasons are explained below.

First of all, the education at school gives only fundamental knowledge but in college we can have more detailed and specific knowledge in our area of interest. Here we can choose our subject to explore more about our liking. for example in my higher school one of my friend thought that she will become a doctor and to pursue this dream she choose biology as her subject in university and started studying to achieve her goals.

The second reason for education at university is to get a decent job and fulfill our dream ourselves. in olden days people are not capable of joining university and choose to a job. Latter they realized how easy their life can be. But now people are smart, they think that the step by step education will be more helpful for their life and dream. If we are well educated we can have a nice job which makes self sufficient to complete our dreams. I can put more light on this as my husband belongs to a poor family but he was very clear with his dream and the way he had to choose for achieving those ambitions. he stated to study engineering in college and after successfully finishing his course he got a good job.

Here i want conclude that joining university can help achieve the happiness in our life in either as i have explained way. Whether we want to enhance our knowledge or we want to get a right job higher studies always helps to make it possible.

Votes
Average: 6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 329, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: The
...rsity except choosing any other option. the reasons are explained below. First o...
^^^
Line 3, column 18, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...re explained below. First of all, the education at school gives only fundament...
^^
Line 3, column 227, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: For
...bject to explore more about our liking. for example in my higher school one of my f...
^^^
Line 3, column 343, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'she' must be used with a third-person verb: 'chooses'.
Suggestion: chooses
...e a doctor and to pursue this dream she choose biology as her subject in university an...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 103, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: In
...nt job and fulfill our dream ourselves. in olden days people are not capable of jo...
^^
Line 5, column 348, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... more helpful for their life and dream. If we are well educated we can have a nice...
^^
Line 5, column 612, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: He
...o choose for achieving those ambitions. he stated to study engineering in college ...
^^
Line 7, column 6, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...g his course he got a good job. Here i want conclude that joining university c...
^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, second, so, well, for example, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 11.0286738351 36% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 43.0 43.0788530466 100% => OK
Preposition: 40.0 52.1666666667 77% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1445.0 1977.66487455 73% => OK
No of words: 315.0 407.700716846 77% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.5873015873 4.8611393121 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.21286593061 4.48103885553 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.44818514031 2.67179642975 92% => OK
Unique words: 175.0 212.727598566 82% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.555555555556 0.524837075471 106% => OK
syllable_count: 468.9 618.680645161 76% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 9.59856630824 42% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.94265232975 20% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.3304678938 48.9658058833 86% => OK
Chars per sentence: 85.0 100.406767564 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.5294117647 20.6045352989 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.47058823529 5.45110844103 64% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.5376344086 144% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0821097684226 0.236089414692 35% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0346012661337 0.076458572812 45% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0479448317585 0.0737576698707 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0611622521608 0.150856017488 41% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0490555418004 0.0645574589148 76% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.5 11.7677419355 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 58.1214874552 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.34 10.9000537634 86% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.39 8.01818996416 92% => OK
difficult_words: 57.0 86.8835125448 66% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.