There is no shortage about the debate whether people use their time more for personal enjoyment than for commitments such as work or further education. In my opinion, people use their time too much for obligation and thus have no time for personal enjoyment. Moreover, the question arise why can personal enjoyment and commitments be one and the same. In the ensuing paragraph, I will try to shed some light on my perspective through ample examples and conspicuous reason.
The exquisite point to be mentioned firstly is that in today world money people are addicted to their obligations such as work, so that they spend too much time for their obligation instead to enjoy their life. Moreover, many people forget that time has a higher value than money and thus time should be used for their own good. Further alarming statistics predict that the number of people with burnout syndrome will rise exponentially. My own experience is a compelling example of this. One of my greatest friends is an amazing entrepreneur, but also very addicted to his work. He did rarely take a break from his work to go out and consequently he had his first serious burnout with the age of 21. This showed me that many people nowadays rarely take time for themselves. For this reason, people should use their time more for personal enjoyment.
Secondly, I would like to regard the question from the introduction why commitment and personal pleasure can’t be the same. Moreover, personal enjoyment is falsely defined, because it excludes personal commitments and obligations which can be also very pleasurable. For instance, I worked as a working student at Siemens in the Cyber Security Office during my gap year. However, I didn’t see it as a commitment more than a personal enjoyment and thus I was also ready to use my “free time” to accomplish several tasks for my department. Accordingly, I believe that personal enjoyment and commitment can easily come together.
Due to above mentioned ground, I firmly believe that people should take time for their personal enjoyment, especially because the trend shows that many people nowadays have health issue such as burnout due to too much obligations. Further I believe that enjoyment and commitment can be the one and the same thing.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 335, Rule ID: ONE_AND_THE_SAME[1]
Message: Use simply 'the same'.
Suggestion: the same
...n personal enjoyment and commitments be one and the same. In the ensuing paragraph, I will try t...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 330, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Further,
...time should be used for their own good. Further alarming statistics predict that the nu...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 214, Rule ID: MUCH_COUNTABLE[1]
Message: Use 'many' with countable nouns.
Suggestion: many
...health issue such as burnout due to too much obligations. Further I believe that enj...
^^^^
Line 7, column 291, Rule ID: ONE_AND_THE_SAME[1]
Message: Use simply 'the same'.
Suggestion: the same
...hat enjoyment and commitment can be the one and the same thing.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, also, but, consequently, first, firstly, however, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, thus, for instance, such as, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 45.0 43.0788530466 104% => OK
Preposition: 32.0 52.1666666667 61% => OK
Nominalization: 22.0 8.0752688172 272% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1914.0 1977.66487455 97% => OK
No of words: 380.0 407.700716846 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.03684210526 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.41515443553 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77488239375 2.67179642975 104% => OK
Unique words: 186.0 212.727598566 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.489473684211 0.524837075471 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 603.0 618.680645161 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.994623655914 0% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.5676417241 48.9658058833 93% => OK
Chars per sentence: 100.736842105 100.406767564 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.0 20.6045352989 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.42105263158 5.45110844103 136% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.144196653356 0.236089414692 61% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.052890677943 0.076458572812 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0313381795332 0.0737576698707 42% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.101819892335 0.150856017488 67% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0189813818309 0.0645574589148 29% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.3 11.7677419355 105% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 58.1214874552 88% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.1575268817 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.95 10.9000537634 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.7 8.01818996416 96% => OK
difficult_words: 74.0 86.8835125448 85% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 66.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.