Television advertising is an effective way to market a product. Some people believe that advertisement towards children should not be permitted,however,others states that this advertisements are not harmful at all.In my opinion the advertisement that are directed towars kids are not beneficial for the society. This is due to the fact that it could affect the childrens in a negative way.
First, One way an advertisement could impact in childrens is when it presents toys that are harmful for the kids.Moreover, At this young age childrens do not recognize what is a toy an what is food, as a result,they could eat this objects if parents are not alert. A good example of this is a well know toy called Crazy stick which is a gum used as a toy to catch things. This toy was a hit in my country , but after some time there were incidents of infections in childrens since they were made with some chemical that affected their health such as heavy metal and sulfur.
Second, This advertisements usually use childrens as a model to advertise their products. This practice is not appropiate because they are using children to make money and also do nol let this childrens to have a good childhood . For instance,In my country there was a tv commercial of a well-know brand that sells baby dolls and used little childrens to perform in their commercials. This kids who usually starts their career in television at an early age tend to have a really caotic childhood since they become famous really fast and do not enjoy their childhood. In addittion to this, many parents who are blind by the money ussually exploit their childrens just because they want to transform their heirs in someone that they could not become.
In conclusion, Tv commercials that are focus on childrens audiences are not beneficial due to the fact that the products advertised can affect their integrity and these advertisements do not let children involve in this activities have a peaceful childhood.
- TPO-05 - Integrated Writing Task As early as the twelfth century A.D., the settlements of Chaco Canyon in New Mexico in the American Southwest were notable for their "great houses," massive stone buildings that contain hundreds of rooms and often stand th 85
- TPO-08 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television advertising directed towards young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. 60
- TPO-06 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Life today is easier and more comfortable than it was when your grandparents were children.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. 73
- TPO-02 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Always telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationship between people.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. 60
- TPO-04 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?In twenty years there will be fewer cars in use than there are today.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. 63
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 144, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , however
...towards children should not be permitted,however,others states that this advertisements ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 172, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...be permitted,however,others states that this advertisements are not harmful at all.I...
^^^^
Line 1, column 215, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: In
...s advertisements are not harmful at all.In my opinion the advertisement that are d...
^^
Line 1, column 372, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a negative way" with adverb for "negative"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...fact that it could affect the childrens in a negative way. First, One way an advertisement cou...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 66, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...sement could impact in childrens is when it presents toys that are harmful for th...
^^
Line 3, column 115, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Moreover
...ents toys that are harmful for the kids.Moreover, At this young age childrens do not rec...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 184, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...hildrens do not recognize what is a toy an what is food, as a result,they could ea...
^^
Line 3, column 212, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , they
...at is a toy an what is food, as a result,they could eat this objects if parents are n...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 406, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...things. This toy was a hit in my country , but after some time there were incident...
^^
Line 3, column 521, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e they were made with some chemical that affected their health such as heavy meta...
^^
Line 5, column 9, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: These
...h as heavy metal and sulfur. Second, This advertisements usually use childrens as...
^^^^
Line 5, column 228, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
... this childrens to have a good childhood . For instance,In my country there was a ...
^^
Line 5, column 243, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , In
... to have a good childhood . For instance,In my country there was a tv commercial of...
^^^
Line 5, column 457, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...eir career in television at an early age tend to have a really caotic childhood s...
^^
Line 7, column 216, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...isements do not let children involve in this activities have a peaceful childhood. ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, moreover, really, second, so, well, for instance, in conclusion, such as, as a result, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 15.1003584229 146% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 13.8261648746 43% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.0286738351 127% => OK
Pronoun: 42.0 43.0788530466 97% => OK
Preposition: 35.0 52.1666666667 67% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1647.0 1977.66487455 83% => OK
No of words: 336.0 407.700716846 82% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.90178571429 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.28139028586 4.48103885553 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.99772476541 2.67179642975 112% => OK
Unique words: 171.0 212.727598566 80% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.508928571429 0.524837075471 97% => OK
syllable_count: 502.2 618.680645161 81% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 20.6003584229 58% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 20.1344086022 139% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 67.8705876405 48.9658058833 139% => OK
Chars per sentence: 137.25 100.406767564 137% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.0 20.6045352989 136% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.9166666667 5.45110844103 200% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 15.0 5.5376344086 271% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 11.8709677419 34% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.136434756843 0.236089414692 58% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0612429497753 0.076458572812 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0377554271287 0.0737576698707 51% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.100233865858 0.150856017488 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0314692497113 0.0645574589148 49% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.6 11.7677419355 133% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.52 58.1214874552 89% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 10.1575268817 128% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.44 10.9000537634 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.17 8.01818996416 102% => OK
difficult_words: 67.0 86.8835125448 77% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 10.002688172 150% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 10.0537634409 131% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.