TPO-08 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television advertising directed towards young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

I agree with television advertising directed toward young children, aged two to five should not be allowed. Kids do not have the full fledge to know what is a beneficial thing for them. In addition, when they spend time watching television alone it is difficult to control some situations.

First of all, the kid with age between 2 and 5 years, does not have the maturity to understand what is a good thing or a bad thing an sometimes they do not know how to proceed when an ad pop up on television. I have a son, Felipe and He is 4 years old and every time he watches television and an advertising are showing he asks to me to buy for him and sometimes this thing maybe is not allowed for his age. For example some months ago we were watching television and a commercial about a toy appeared and at the same moment, he asked to buy this product to him. The toy was approved to children with 6 years old and he could play with it because there are small pieces and could be dangerous for he put on his mouth and swallow it. Moreover, Felipe sometimes asks me to buy some toys similar to guns, for example, a revolver, a tank and etc. These kind of fake guns are very dangerous, especially for 4 years.

Second, children do not know the difference between a cheap and expensive thing. Every children when they are seeing any advertising on a television the first thing that they do is ask for their parents to buy this thing even though an expensive toy. Sometimes this can be stressful for the parents, this is happening all the time at my house especially when we are all together watching some movie on television. I have a daughter and she is 5 years old and last week was watching a movie and every advertising showed in the movie she asked me to buy that thing to her, and I lost my patience and stopped the film abruptly, turned off the television and put everyone to sleep.

In conclusion, I think the television adverting should not be allowed because children with age between 2 and 5 years do not know the difference between a good and a bad thing and they don’t know when they are able to ask something to your parents buy and this can be very stressful to your parents.

Votes
Average: 7.1 (1 vote)
Essay Categories
Independent TOEFL Writing

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 132, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...and what is a good thing or a bad thing an sometimes they do not know how to proce...
^^
Line 3, column 694, Rule ID: HE_THE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'for the put'?
Suggestion: for the put
...are small pieces and could be dangerous for he put on his mouth and swallow it. Moreover, ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 835, Rule ID: AND_ETC[1]
Message: Use simply 'etc.'.
Suggestion: etc.
...o guns, for example, a revolver, a tank and etc. These kind of fake guns are very danger...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 844, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this kind' or 'These kinds'?
Suggestion: This kind; These kinds
...or example, a revolver, a tank and etc. These kind of fake guns are very dangerous, especi...
^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, if, may, moreover, second, so, for example, i think, in addition, in conclusion, kind of, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 15.1003584229 146% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 23.0 13.8261648746 166% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 47.0 43.0788530466 109% => OK
Preposition: 44.0 52.1666666667 84% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1789.0 1977.66487455 90% => OK
No of words: 409.0 407.700716846 100% => OK
Chars per words: 4.37408312958 4.8611393121 90% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.49708221141 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.52312550732 2.67179642975 94% => OK
Unique words: 180.0 212.727598566 85% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.440097799511 0.524837075471 84% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 560.7 618.680645161 91% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 20.6003584229 68% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 29.0 20.1344086022 144% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 68.4220098256 48.9658058833 140% => OK
Chars per sentence: 127.785714286 100.406767564 127% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.2142857143 20.6045352989 142% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.78571428571 5.45110844103 143% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 11.8709677419 25% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.169299549933 0.236089414692 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0817959899148 0.076458572812 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.132853354629 0.0737576698707 180% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.150542260683 0.150856017488 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0938007489801 0.0645574589148 145% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.8 11.7677419355 117% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 58.96 58.1214874552 101% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.2 10.1575268817 120% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.66 10.9000537634 79% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.93 8.01818996416 86% => OK
difficult_words: 48.0 86.8835125448 55% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 10.002688172 115% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 10.0537634409 135% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 71.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.