TPO-15 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at young age. Use specific reasons and examples to support your ans

People need money to maintain their own life. Some people learn ways of managing money early and the other people just spend their own money for their amusement and desire. In my opinion, in order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at young age. There are several reasons for this statement: first, by managing money, I can save more money than before; second, my life would be more relaxed than before. Therefore, I believe that people should learn way of managing money when they are children so that they can get a lot of benefit, which is related to money.

Primarily, by managing money, I can save more money than before. It means that If I learn how to use money wisely and efficiently, I can reduce amounts of using money that I do not need or do not want. As a result, by reducing amounts of using money, I can earn more money. There is an example for this idea: when I was in elementary school, my parents taught me managing money because I was not able to control using money very well. After learning management of money, I was able to be more financial people by managing money. Thus, by just managing money, money can be saved from wallet.

Secondarily, by managing money, I can get relaxed life. It means that I can maintain good quality of life by managing money. If I do not know how to manage money, may be I have to work very hard everyday because I would spend a lot of money to things that I do not need; also, I can not take a rest a lot because of hardworking from company. Hence, weather by managing money or not, it changed my life happy or bad.

In conclusion, some people teach to their children way of managing money, but the other do not. In my opinion, I agree about this statement and there are two representative reasons for this statement. by managing money, I can save a lot of money and I can improve quality of my life. Therefore, in order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at young age.

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Average: 6 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 164, Rule ID: MAY_BE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'maybe' (=perhaps)?
Suggestion: maybe
.... If I do not know how to manage money, may be I have to work very hard everyday becau...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 196, Rule ID: EVERYDAY_EVERY_DAY[3]
Message: 'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean 'every day'?
Suggestion: every day
... money, may be I have to work very hard everyday because I would spend a lot of money to...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 202, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: By
...resentative reasons for this statement. by managing money, I can save a lot of mon...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, hence, if, may, second, so, therefore, thus, well, in conclusion, as a result, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 9.8082437276 204% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 48.0 43.0788530466 111% => OK
Preposition: 49.0 52.1666666667 94% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1675.0 1977.66487455 85% => OK
No of words: 372.0 407.700716846 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.50268817204 4.8611393121 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.39173103935 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.43429526646 2.67179642975 91% => OK
Unique words: 146.0 212.727598566 69% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.39247311828 0.524837075471 75% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 550.8 618.680645161 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 12.0 4.94265232975 243% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.0608368137 48.9658058833 90% => OK
Chars per sentence: 88.1578947368 100.406767564 88% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.5789473684 20.6045352989 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.78947368421 5.45110844103 106% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.311829963936 0.236089414692 132% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.144042430774 0.076458572812 188% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.122161641227 0.0737576698707 166% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.241367027595 0.150856017488 160% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0997905247374 0.0645574589148 155% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.6 11.7677419355 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.82 10.9000537634 81% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.7 8.01818996416 84% => OK
difficult_words: 50.0 86.8835125448 58% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.